Update number 1: After two years of writing basically nothing, and then a year of writing in the most dilettantish way possible, it turns out -- I suck. Everything is harder than it used to be; everything requires five revisions to sound even remotely right. I'm trying to do 1000 words a day now on the novel. They are not good words. But I'm just dealing with it as boot camp or something. It's not even that I want to have a first draft, although I do. I just want to NOT SUCK again, like I did NOT SUCK during the many many years that I wrote constantly.

Update number 2: There will be more updates. Hopefully not all whining. Think how interesting it will all be in retrospect, if I ever publish this monstrosity! And even if it's not interesting, there's whining. And that's fun! For me, I mean.

Why is this so haaaaaaard? Writing was never hard for me. First it was easy, and then it was impossible. So this is the compromise position, I guess.