What the hell? I read this months ago and didn't comment? OK, I would slap my wrists for sinning if that weren't so deliciously naughty -- um, I had to come back and comment; I think this is my favorite story of this fabulous series.
I respond to Ronon's loneliness and lack of surety in the... worth of living in this world -- I respond to Rodney's insecurities and need and just overall spilling-over greed for life -- but I'm actually more like John than I'm entirely comfortable with, and this line "There was nothing here that he was willing to let go of – not yet. He wasn’t that kind of man" is a perfect encapsulation of what he is, and breaks my heart. I could never be this selfless (if I had a Rodney of my very own that in love with me, I would squeeze him tight and never let go), but gah, your John is perfectly shaped by his experiences and moves me. Rodney shies away from trying to make demands on John b/c he instinctly understands that John sees love and need as traps. And Ronon instinctively reverts to soldier mode with him, in the face of his wryness and sarcasm. Rodney may be the center, but John is the one central string-puller. It's funny he should think Rodney is the control freak, because has he never ever looked in the mirror?
For me, this chapter really brings home the reality that Rodney really is the central sun of this arrangement. His heat, his brightness, it draws the others in. He loves and wants and feels with freedom, and if he has as many hang-ups as the rest of us, he doesn't let them get in the way of his goddamned pursuit of happiness. I'm most like John, but I adore Rodney the most. He's just -- I understand why both Ronon and John orbit him. He's the only one of them who is absolute sure of the pleasures of life, to be sucked and enjoyed and hoarded, despite the cruelties. Both John and Ronon are too focused on the cruelties, and Rodney's zest attracts them. He's like the sun, radiating life, and oh, I hope hope hope you haven't given up on this series, because I want a happy ending for them, for Rodney, and I know that won't work until John relents and lets himself go -- both John and Ronon soaking in the rays of Rodney-sun.
I adore this story; it's jam-packed with beautiful character moments and moments of humanity, but at the same time reading it feels indulgent. Like a too-sweet ice cream sundae, only with cunning vitamins to make my bones grow and my skin healthier.
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Date: 2006-04-15 05:15 am (UTC)From:I respond to Ronon's loneliness and lack of surety in the... worth of living in this world -- I respond to Rodney's insecurities and need and just overall spilling-over greed for life -- but I'm actually more like John than I'm entirely comfortable with, and this line "There was nothing here that he was willing to let go of – not yet. He wasn’t that kind of man" is a perfect encapsulation of what he is, and breaks my heart. I could never be this selfless (if I had a Rodney of my very own that in love with me, I would squeeze him tight and never let go), but gah, your John is perfectly shaped by his experiences and moves me. Rodney shies away from trying to make demands on John b/c he instinctly understands that John sees love and need as traps. And Ronon instinctively reverts to soldier mode with him, in the face of his wryness and sarcasm. Rodney may be the center, but John is the one central string-puller. It's funny he should think Rodney is the control freak, because has he never ever looked in the mirror?
For me, this chapter really brings home the reality that Rodney really is the central sun of this arrangement. His heat, his brightness, it draws the others in. He loves and wants and feels with freedom, and if he has as many hang-ups as the rest of us, he doesn't let them get in the way of his goddamned pursuit of happiness. I'm most like John, but I adore Rodney the most. He's just -- I understand why both Ronon and John orbit him. He's the only one of them who is absolute sure of the pleasures of life, to be sucked and enjoyed and hoarded, despite the cruelties. Both John and Ronon are too focused on the cruelties, and Rodney's zest attracts them. He's like the sun, radiating life, and oh, I hope hope hope you haven't given up on this series, because I want a happy ending for them, for Rodney, and I know that won't work until John relents and lets himself go -- both John and Ronon soaking in the rays of Rodney-sun.
I adore this story; it's jam-packed with beautiful character moments and moments of humanity, but at the same time reading it feels indulgent. Like a too-sweet ice cream sundae, only with cunning vitamins to make my bones grow and my skin healthier.