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So in trying to get some paperwork together to apply for a new job, I spoke with the good people at my alma mater and discovered that, surprise! I never actually graduated. My test scores for the required U.S. and Georgia state constitution tests were never filed to the graduation office.
I called Testing Services to find out, you know, wtf, because I happened even to remember the day I took it. Because they file the tests themselves separately from the payment information (yes, naturally you have to pay to take them, too), it was quick work for them to find the proof that I was there and paid to take the test that day, but the test itself wasn't filed with all the others from that week. No problem, the nice lady said; sometimes tests accidentally get batched in with a later week or something. She'd keep working on it.
This morning she called and said, effectively, hey, good news/bad news! The good news is, they found the test and figured out what happened. What happened: there's no intake sheet with it, which means that my name but not my social security number is attached to the test itself. And as I have a fairly common name, there happen to be two others in the UGA system, and they can't technically prove that the test belongs to me.
So they want me to retake it. Before I can graduate. With which plan there are two problems:
1) I can handle the US constitution test, but I promptly forgot everything I ever knew about the Georgia state constitution after I, you know, passed the test and moved out of Georgia. I also threw away the book with all the answers in it, because who the hell cared anymore? I don't live in Georgia; it's my fervent hope never to live in Georgia again. Also...
2) I don't live in Georgia anymore, and I can't just pop over to the Testing Services office. It's like an eight hour drive away.
Carol from Testing Services (who is very nice and has been very non-pissy about the whole thing, in a way that isn't, in my experience, the standard for university bureaucracy) said there might be a way to arrange to take the test through the UNC testing office, which was nice of her, and solves problem #2, but not problem #1.
The thing I find most upsetting is that, you know? This is not my fault. The reason there's a whole office to take these tests in is that they have proctors there to move you through the process. Clearly I was either never given an intake sheet, or else someone lost it, because obviously I didn't receive one and pitch it out the window while no one was looking. Isn't their whole job to put the right papers in my hands when I come in and collect them from me when I leave? (Not even to mention, when they had a scored test and couldn't figure out where to enter the scores, was there something they could have maybe done other than tossing the tests in a dead-letter file and ignoring them for nine months?) It seems like that's the point of Testing Services, as an institution.
Carol was appropriately concerned about the whole thing, and she basically said this morning, "Let me keep thinking about this and we'll try to figure something out." So currently, she is thinking and I am waiting. I so badly want to be like, lady, please, can't you just fill in the damn number for me? I called you, I knew the exact day, it's clearly not someone else's test, we all know this. I realize it's technically verboten, but y'all are the ones who lost the information to start with.
The graduation office says that if and when Testing Services can contact them with the original scores and the date thereof, they can backdate my graduation. So, like some kind of strange academic Schroedinger's cat, when you open the box, I either will or will not have graduated in the summer of 2006.
Thank fucking God I'm on vacation this week. That's all I have to say about that.
ETA: Carol the cool Testing Services lady for the WIN! After three different rounds of, "Hmm...let me keep working on this. I'll call you when I know something," she finally managed to bargain whatever dark Powers That Be...there be...down to a written statement from me giving the time & date I took the tests. This will be appended to my file. Apparently, the construction that was happening in the building that week caused General Chaos, and a number of intake sheets went astray. Most people, of course, didn't blow town like a shot right after taking the test, and had already noticed and done something about the problem. I was apparently the last Orphaned Test Scores left in the file, and Carol was pleased to be done with the whole business at last. Though not as pleased as I am, I bet.
I called Testing Services to find out, you know, wtf, because I happened even to remember the day I took it. Because they file the tests themselves separately from the payment information (yes, naturally you have to pay to take them, too), it was quick work for them to find the proof that I was there and paid to take the test that day, but the test itself wasn't filed with all the others from that week. No problem, the nice lady said; sometimes tests accidentally get batched in with a later week or something. She'd keep working on it.
This morning she called and said, effectively, hey, good news/bad news! The good news is, they found the test and figured out what happened. What happened: there's no intake sheet with it, which means that my name but not my social security number is attached to the test itself. And as I have a fairly common name, there happen to be two others in the UGA system, and they can't technically prove that the test belongs to me.
So they want me to retake it. Before I can graduate. With which plan there are two problems:
1) I can handle the US constitution test, but I promptly forgot everything I ever knew about the Georgia state constitution after I, you know, passed the test and moved out of Georgia. I also threw away the book with all the answers in it, because who the hell cared anymore? I don't live in Georgia; it's my fervent hope never to live in Georgia again. Also...
2) I don't live in Georgia anymore, and I can't just pop over to the Testing Services office. It's like an eight hour drive away.
Carol from Testing Services (who is very nice and has been very non-pissy about the whole thing, in a way that isn't, in my experience, the standard for university bureaucracy) said there might be a way to arrange to take the test through the UNC testing office, which was nice of her, and solves problem #2, but not problem #1.
The thing I find most upsetting is that, you know? This is not my fault. The reason there's a whole office to take these tests in is that they have proctors there to move you through the process. Clearly I was either never given an intake sheet, or else someone lost it, because obviously I didn't receive one and pitch it out the window while no one was looking. Isn't their whole job to put the right papers in my hands when I come in and collect them from me when I leave? (Not even to mention, when they had a scored test and couldn't figure out where to enter the scores, was there something they could have maybe done other than tossing the tests in a dead-letter file and ignoring them for nine months?) It seems like that's the point of Testing Services, as an institution.
Carol was appropriately concerned about the whole thing, and she basically said this morning, "Let me keep thinking about this and we'll try to figure something out." So currently, she is thinking and I am waiting. I so badly want to be like, lady, please, can't you just fill in the damn number for me? I called you, I knew the exact day, it's clearly not someone else's test, we all know this. I realize it's technically verboten, but y'all are the ones who lost the information to start with.
The graduation office says that if and when Testing Services can contact them with the original scores and the date thereof, they can backdate my graduation. So, like some kind of strange academic Schroedinger's cat, when you open the box, I either will or will not have graduated in the summer of 2006.
Thank fucking God I'm on vacation this week. That's all I have to say about that.
ETA: Carol the cool Testing Services lady for the WIN! After three different rounds of, "Hmm...let me keep working on this. I'll call you when I know something," she finally managed to bargain whatever dark Powers That Be...there be...down to a written statement from me giving the time & date I took the tests. This will be appended to my file. Apparently, the construction that was happening in the building that week caused General Chaos, and a number of intake sheets went astray. Most people, of course, didn't blow town like a shot right after taking the test, and had already noticed and done something about the problem. I was apparently the last Orphaned Test Scores left in the file, and Carol was pleased to be done with the whole business at last. Though not as pleased as I am, I bet.
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no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 02:12 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 02:37 pm (UTC)From:like when i was randomly informed by almost incomprehensible email (i thought it was spam at the time) that my GRE appointment for six days later was being cancelled and i was being rescheduled for six months later in a state approximately five hundred miles away.
sometimes you want to scream, "But you work for ME! Don't you understand?"
no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 02:41 pm (UTC)From:That's messed up. I hope it gets resolved witout you having to retake the test.
no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 02:51 pm (UTC)From:Also are any of the tests a failing grade? Because if all the tests are a passing grade, it might be less of an ethical issue for her to stick your number on the one that doesn't belong to anyone else, that you have proof of having taken.
(sorry, if you've already gone over these things and eliminated them -- your situation just awakens all my neuroses and makes me want to solve, solve, solve!!!)
no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 03:10 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 03:49 pm (UTC)From:*eyeroll*
It sounds to me like your situation is far, far stupider than mine and I will keep my fingers crossed for you. At the time, it was one of the more horrid weeks of my life, and I was fortunate that the solution, in my case, was so simple (literally involved the profs listening to the story and signing off on a waiver that said something like "this student should be able to meet the basic prerequisites for this course." Most of them snorted at the utter stupidity of even having to sign such a paper in the first place, but that's bureaucracy for you. *sigh*). If I lived nearby, I'd offer you at least one very stiff drink for fortitude. :-) Hang in there!
no subject
Date: 2007-04-26 03:51 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2007-04-27 01:00 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2007-04-27 03:01 am (UTC)From:It just seems so unbelievable...
no subject
Date: 2007-04-27 03:23 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2007-04-27 04:56 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2007-04-27 05:04 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2007-04-28 04:08 am (UTC)From:I am totally bummed about missing your visit to places nearby; I am busier than I have ever been in my life. But if I wasn't, what would you read the next time you glance through your latest copy of the Proceedings of the International Conference on Engineering of Reconfigurable System and Algorithms? I'll catch you the next time around :).
no subject
Date: 2007-04-29 04:27 am (UTC)From: