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Can this be the episode where we finally get together and agree that John Sheppard=Jim Kirk is only true if YOU DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT EITHER CHARACTER? Please? Because the fanon is killing me, here, I mean it.
But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I know that McKay complaining about their parking space is meaningless, because he’s the kind of guy who probably drives around the lot 25 times because he’s convinced he can get one that’s two spots closer (I myself like to park as far to the back of the lot as possible, because that’s where there are no other cars for me to hit while backing out; I’m not – what do you call that? Right, a “good driver”), but I love how severely pissed off Teyla sounds. I mean, usually she has to be in mortal danger before she gets takes that tone with her teammates, so they must have been walking a *long damn time.*
This is not necessarily late-breaking news, but seriously, McKay can totally be a jackass, can’t he? Like it’s Ronon’s fault that he didn’t stop to describe what kind of branch he wanted or what he was using it for? You ask for a branch, you get the handiest branch. You want a specific *type* of branch, you get more specific. I think the reason I like McKay slash is that it so often seems like the only logical reason anybody would tolerate him at all is if he’s *really really* good in bed. Seriously, the meaner he is to Ronon? The more I just go, “*Damn,* the sex must be *hot.*” And then I am happy again.
Okay, here’s the thing. I’ve seen a lot of people go Bzuh? to Ronon’s “That’d be great!” Myself, I am doing the Dance of Joy. Because no, it’s a totally nonsensical response if Ronon really is this big, dumb grunt who only appreciates Shoot It, Fuck It, or Eat It – but ONLY IF that’s your starting premise. If, for example, you consider that they’re modeling him on a kind of Kung-Fu Master/Samurai/martial artist model, where he’s a badass because of that whole schtick about perfecting and transcending your body (come on, I can’t be the only person around here who’s watched a lot of Hong Kong action flicks, can I?), then it makes all the sense in the *world.* That would not only explain his immense bad-assery, but his tendency toward brevity, because you know in all those movies, the Master has a certain economy of dialogue and a lot of the acting is done physically and facially. I feel one million kinds of vindicated now, because this episode totally plays into my own private little thing where Ronon isn’t Conan the Barbarian at all (come on, like you really think McKay has some kind of deep insight into his character?), but – I don’t know, but somebody played by Chow Yun Fat, that’s for sure. Hell, yeah. Come with me on this one, people! I’m onto something!
Also, I love how most of the time Ronon doesn’t have the time of day for Rodney’s snarkiness, but this time, when Rodney’s being all snide and implying that he’s too developmentally challenged to Ascend, Ronon busts out that look he saves for when he really doesn’t find you funny AT ALL. He just stares at McKay like, “Is that it? You got something else you wanna say, little man?” And it *totally works.* McKay gets all flustered and nervous-looking. McKay, like the rest of us, mocks because he loves, but he’s just socially retarded enough that he has no idea what’s in and out of bounds, and part of what I love about him is that he really does seem abashed whenever he realizes he’s gone further than he intended. His heart’s in the right place, it really is, he’s just got no fucking manners – which is also fun if you buy into the idea that Ronon’s reserve is a kind of faux-Asian mannerly formality (come on, the water’s fine!), because it makes Rodney his own personal Round-Eyed Barbarian that he has to put up with. And now I want to write the Atlantis version of *Shanghai Noon.* Lord.
Yeah, when McKay makes “MALP on a stick” jokes, he thinks it’s hi-larious. He just hates it when other people get the funny lines.
“Hurts pretty bad to move.” I am such a fucking sap for Sheppard-whomping. It’s the reason that 38 Minutes is my second-favorite episode. I *love* when he’s being all, “Okay...not trying to get anyone agitated or anything but...ow.”
“Figure it out, or you’re going in there after him!” Damn, I love it when Ronon’s being all, “If Sheppard gets hurt, I’m fucking well not going to be the ONLY one who’s unhappy about it.” Gah, gah, a thousand times gah! And then also, along with the bravado, there’s that little look on his face when he turns away from McKay, and it’s very *ow.* He’s so worried, and yet he knows that abduction-by-Ancient-energy-field is so not his area that it’s ridiculous; he knows he’s going to be able to do precisely jack shit except stand here and freak out. And we all know how much Ronon loves these little pauses for reflection in a crisis.
Well, I didn’t say he was *perfect.* I just said he might possibly be interested in bigger shit than your average Great Dane.
Do you get the feeling that when Sheppard says he’s going to “give you guys the chance to figure this one out” he’s already starting to lose a little hope? He just doesn’t sound so confident in their ability to do so, somehow. Come on, Shep, I know you can’t be expected to know it’ll take six months, but give them fifteen minutes before you start looking like you think you’re going to die in a crater.
I love Sheppard’s “if you can’t...then I guess you can’t hear me,” because I have done that *so many times,* usually while attempting to leave voicemail messages. You’re all like, “Um, if you’re getting this, then call me back, and if you...don’t get this...oh, fuck it.” But then I may have mentioned, I’m not, what do you call that? Right, “good with machines.”
I think it’s sad that my fascination with names has progressed to the point where I find it somehow interesting that Sheppard *calls himself* John. I don’t know, it could be interesting! He might have thought of himself as Sheppard, although that would be weird, but it’s possible! And now we know he doesn’t. I seriously think I just give this kind of thing entirely too much of my time and attention. To the point where it’s distracting me to the general fabulousness of the scene! Which is fabulous.
“We don’t leave our people behind. RIGHT?” Oh, Sheppard. I both love and am totally depressed by how that honestly is the thing you’re worried about. I mean, personally, I would have already decided that, my life being all spec-fictiony and whatnot, I’d gone through some kind of reality warp or God knows what, but that they were prevented from contacting me. Sheppard thinks maybe they were just like, “Huh, that’s weird. Well, maybe he’ll meet us back at the Puddlejumper.” I suppose we could all take offense and be pissy that he doesn’t have more trust than that, but hey, when you’ve got trust issues, you’ve got trust issues; if you could just get over them, they wouldn’t be “issues.”
Licking the Powerbar wrapper clean was a nice, pathetic touch. Kudos.
I know – okay, I KNOW they have to help out the Slow Children among us, but I always get depressed and want to drink when supposedly brilliant characters have to play cabbage-head so we at home can get our techy definitions. Carson isn’t an astrophysicist or anything, but I would imagine that he could probably puzzle out that “temporal differential” means SHIFT IN TIME. He might not know *how* it happens, but would he really give that much of a damn? Nobody’s interested in other people’s long technical explanations; if it’s not in their field of interest, they generally just want the upshot of the whole thing – and anyway, they didn’t have him say, “How the bloody hell is something like that possible,” they had him ask what it *meant.* This show is so bad for my liver.
Re: the Conan & Xena line – or rather, re: Carson’s “Now that’s not very– “ and McKay’s retraction, it seems like most people are interpreting the missing word as “nice.” Which in fact, knowing Carson, may be the case. But I think it’s interesting if McKay wasn’t leaping ahead to “nice,” but rather to “fair,” which would actually make his response make more sense. He’s not famous for caring about “nice” during crunch-time (Dr. Fumbles McStupid can back me up on this one), and anyway, they weren’t anywhere they could possibly hear him and get their feelings hurt. I’m more inclined to think that he felt bad for implicitly blaming their stupidity for slowing him down, so that his “No, I suppose it’s not” was really more along the lines of, “Okay, I shouldn’t tell these strangers that they’re morons and a liability, because that’s not true, and outsiders might take me seriously even though I’m clearly panicky and socially retarded.” I don’t know, I’ve been known to read too much into things. I just like that interpretation better.
“THREE canteens of water and a whole *handful* of Powerbars.” Heh. I so love Sheppard when he’s being a pissy bitch. (I can tell a lot of my recapping career is going to consist of variations on a general theme of I So Love Sheppard When He...)
I find it interesting that he throws the radio after just saying he was going to try to “give them an indication” of where he was going – and the addition of “as I go” makes it sound like he was talking about the radio, not the arrow he builds. I wonder if he really just that very second changed his mind and was like, “What the fuck am I saying? They’re really gone,” or if it was just a pissed-off, impulsive kind of thing, and one second later he was thinking, “Fuck, that wasn’t good for my radio.” He is both depressed and hella frustrated at this point, so I could go either way with it.
OMGWTF Polar bear! Seriously, Lost wants its pointless red herring back. I do like his sort of grimly resigned, “...or I’m gonna eat you,” though. I don’t think Sheppard is the kind of guy who relishes killing his own food, but what are you gonna do?
And he gives Zelenka credit! See, McKay’s good people. Also, he sekritly loves his Zelenka. It may be a sekrit even from him, but he does.
They need to *stop* putting Sheppard with little children. Ow, my ovaries!
“Which one of you got me out of my clothes and into these?” Which one you hoping for, Shep? Heh. I’m so very easy.
Literally everyone on this planet appears to be wearing some shade of pink. This planet’s colors are Blush and Bashful. Seriously, I want to say something: I’m not usually the kind of person who gets all het up about how the liberal elite hate religion and want to steal the Whoos’ Christmas and all that, but I do get pretty fucking sick of the Stargate franchise’s attitude toward religion and spirituality, where *everyone* who, you know, has some of that is either a creepy cult member or, best-case scenario, is so unbearable dull and uptight and earnest and superior that anyone in their right mind would stab a fork through the nearest available eyeball. You know, all my life I’ve been around a lot of people from a lot of different religions, and I’ll let you in on a little secret: most of them who really *are* Masters of Their Paths, the kind of people who are a hop, skip, and a jump from whatever the RL equivalent of Ascension may be? They are totally fucking cool. They are bright and funny and voraciously curious and open and generally very fond of people. I have known so many *totally fucking cool* rabbis and priests and pie-baking church grandmas and Zen Buddhist fanboys and shaman-poets and funky physics-geek mystics who love string theory like whoa and High Priestesses and grizzled, hippie New Testament scholars and the list just goes on – more than I could tally up if I sat here another hour and worked on it. The Stargate universe is the only place where the more cosmic wisdom you gain, the less anyone in their right mind would want to hang out with you. I just had to say that; it’s been brewing for a while now. (I was kind of hoping the Athosians would break the streak, but we haven’t heard much from Teyla about her religion, and the rest of the Athosians are kind of borderline cases on the cool vs. where’s my fork? scale.)
My Sheriff-John-o-meter flew off the scale at “I’m happy to visit and I’m grateful for the food and the whole healing thing....” Sometimes that accent of his just comes busting out all over, doesn’t it? I So Love Sheppard When He Talks Like A Refugee from Bonanza. I don’t know, my mom is a big fan of Westerns, so I watched a lot of them as a kid, and then when I was a history major my concentration was in Westward Expansion, and damn, that just does it for me. I want him to call me “little lady” and let me feed him cornbread.
Also, the outfit? It is mockable, if you are of an uncharitable nature, but *I* think he would be the hottest guy at any Renaissance Faire in the world. (Maybe he can stay and hang out at whatever Renaissance Faire they clearly are going to have to return these sets to. They put *everything* on a stick, there!) And fuck all of y’all, I like the beard.
Truthfully, I feel like there’s a little *too* much realism in this episode. I realize these are all the things Atlantis would do in the process of trying to find Sheppard, but it’s just kind of...boring. I think it would’ve been cool to do the whole center of the ep from Sheppard’s point of view, right up until they came riding to the rescue. Actually, on further reflection, that might have been sort of stupid. But this is boring, so we need a Plan C.
“At least I thought they did....” Oh, Sheppard. Therapy, dude, seriously. You can still be a man and everything, but you need to consider therapy.
I get the feeling that the line “life here is not entirely without its pleasures” is the *actual first time Sheppard has realized this woman is totally into him.* And this leads me to my next rant:
WHERE the FUCK do people get this idea that Sheppard is some big ol’ alien-bagging ho? Because you read stories all the time where people say that and they call him Captain Kirk and all, but in more than a year (well over a year, if you count the whole six months he’s in this pocket-reality), he’s had direct, expressed romantic relations with a grand total of two women, both of whom pretty thoroughly flung themselves at his feet. I get that Sheppard has kind of a schmoozy way about him, and apparently a lot of people interpret this as “flirting with everything that moves.” About that, I have this to say:
1) I’m not convinced. As I’ve said before, Sheppard is very into making everyone feel relaxed and cool, and a lot of what other people construe as “flirting,” I think is just Sheppard doing a certain song and dance of, “Like us, we are friendly and peaceful and totally likeable! Shooting us would be totally uncool, not because we have much better guns, which we do, but because shooting people is a downer, especially likeable people like us! And you! All of us!” Sheppard really values alliances running on what he construes as a genuine basis of friendliness; he’s honestly offended in “Storm” when people want to *barter* with them for shelter, and he flat-out says, in effect, “If you were *our friends,* we wouldn’t have to buy you.” I know that I’m a geek for the Sheppard/Ronon, but when you stand back and look at the canon reality that Sheppard is not really adopting Ronon because he’s totally hot for him (though God knows why not), I think you can see in the way he friendlies up to Ronon that this is his MO with *everyone,* not just hot alien chicks. Sheppard is very much not about the actual intimacy, but he’s *very* much about people being on good terms with each other, and I think he’s charming toward that purpose, not so much because he’s so into the ladies that he just can’t help himself.
2) Even if you *could* convince me that all that “dig my charming self” schtick that Sheppard does is flirting by actual definition, you’d have to admit that he’s pretty much all talk. If, as it appears, his big love scene with Teer happens just before he’s rescued, then he hung out for *six months* before getting physical with her at all, and then only because she pretty much went, “Look, for God’s sake do me already, this is getting ridiculous.” Unless you count the glowy thing (which I don’t, but if you do, I’ll point out that was also not Sheppard’s suggestion), that’s the first time we know that he’s had sex or even kissed a woman (okay, Teyla, but did you see how *freaked out* he was by that? and also, when cellular shifts are involved, I think we can take it seriously when he suggests it was “out of character” behavior for him) in, what? Two years, give or take? Captain Kirk would *laugh his ass off* at that scoreboard.
I’ve got more on this, btw; I’ve been collecting it a while. It takes him like half the episode in “Aurora” to go, “Hey, maybe if I smile at her! Girls like that, right?” which implies to me that flirting isn’t his default setting. In the very last episode, he was pretty chary about the hot girl who gazed at him adoringly, and it’s up for grabs how far back he knew she was playing him, but it’s not like that ever stopped Kirk, really. That’s all I can think of right this very second, but there’s more evidence! I’m bristling with evidence on this one; I will brook no opposition! Sheppard is the worst excuse for a playa I think I’ve ever seen, and I want a gag order on every fanfic writer who tries to suggest otherwise. (There’s an exemption for stories where Rodney, who is a yutz, *thinks* he is, but only if at some point Sheppard gets to say, “WTF, dude, how long have you known me?” Only in words that are, uh, in character. I can’t do all the work *for* you!) From now on, anyone who writes about how the merest hint of a smile from Sheppard’s direction makes women fling themselves nekkidly upon him only gets to live if they recognize the fact that Sheppard would totally not know what to do about it if they did.
Now, I realize I’ve been known to suggest that Sheppard is, uh, extremely gay. Mostly, I’m thrilled to pieces that the writers make it so easy for me to spin canon that way, but I don’t *actually think* that John Sheppard is gay. I think he’s a loner at heart (would anyone who has a burning desire for human companionship have much that’s nice to say about living on an Air Force base in Antarctica?), and I think for the most part sex is not worth the inevitable price to him – that price being that people get attached to you, and then you have to have discussions with them, *relationship* discussions, even, and they expect a lot of stuff from you and they start being around all the time and you can’t get rid of them without them calling you a dick and possibly breaking some of your stuff. Once you start kissing people, shit gets complicated, and I think Sheppard really prizes the manageability of his life far too much to go doing that sort of thing on a whim. So he’s gotten used to going without for long stretches, and honestly, I don’t think it’s something he pays attention to much. People have different levels of needing a lot of sex and romance in their lives, and it just seems to me like John’s dial is set fairly low. He’s not necessarily averse to it, but look at the one situation where we see him actually having sex (and I think we can assume he did, because that was the implication of Teer’s “vision,” and her visions appear to be pretty reliable): he’s 1) particularly lonely, and depressed by his own admission, 2) being directly beseeched by someone to whom it is clearly terribly important and will be overtly hurt if he says no, and whom 3) he has been spending an awful lot of time with for six months in which he’s had nothing but time. He’s gotten comfortable with her and wants her to be happy, so even though he still looks somewhat wary when she propositions him, he clearly thinks it over and decides it’s an okay deal and he should take it. I’m not discounting that he’s attracted to her – presumably he is – but I am saying that he seems to require a lot more factors than merely that to be in play before he’ll seriously consider a sexual relationship with someone.
TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT (too late!), here’s my thumbnail sketch of what, given our 32 episodes’ acquaintance with John Sheppard, I have deduced about his romantic habits:
He likes to be liked and genuinely seems to like other people; he is charming, but not aggressive in any way. He’s a deeply private person not only emotionally but physically; he’ll pal around with you til the cows come home, but he won’t tell you about his first kiss and he isn’t much for the touchy-feely thing. Chicks dig him (although not as much as fandom thinks they do, possibly because women sense he’s the kind of guy who really would wear that track suit from “Home”), but he seems a bit oblivious to that, either because he is terribly oblivious to women’s signals or because ignoring them is his best defense against unwelcome advances. He doesn’t care much for casual sex, probably because it make him feel infringed-upon either emotionally or physically or both, and one might reasonably extrapolate that most of his sexual history has been within the context of a handful of longer-term relationships where he felt comfortable with his partner. (In theory, you could pitch the idea that he wasn’t *always* like this, but has some kind of trauma or heartbreak that has made him back way off of entanglements, but it just seems to me like Sheppard SOP.)
I realize not everyone has to accept my characterization, but for the love of God, can y’all think it over and pause before you call him Captain Kirk in your next story about how Rodney can’t believe someone who’s been with everything on legs in either galaxy could possibly want him? I have *no* problem believing that Sheppard would choose someone he trusts (inasmuch as Sheppard appears to trust anyone) and with whom he’s served for years over any Babe of the Week you care to trot out; *that’s exactly how they’re writing him, and how Flanigan plays him.*
Anyway, back to the rest of the program. Thanks for bearing with me, there.
I love how badly Sheppard would like some mortal danger to be in, now, please. He’s so not cut out for Ascension – and given that in the Stargate universe it makes you all pink and humorless, thank God for that. I bet he’s already been through this “meditation will improve your focus” thing with Teyla, and she has long since given up on him.
He’s so impatient with the pretty girl waiting on him hand and foot, too. He’s all like, “Really, lady, I like you, but this sort of feels like commitment, and please, please stop. Send your brother, he’s okay.” I mean, insert your own joke about Big Gay Sheppard, but I’m just amused on the surface of it; he’s so generically impatient and unhappy with his life, at least until he remembers to be nice and invites her to breakfast, as opposed to the other times this *exact same episode has been done before* (I’ve heard it was a Jack-plot on SG1, and I know it was a Picard-plot on TNG), wherein the love of the simple, pure woman was the thing that made the experience bearable and even made Our Hero a little bit sorry to leave. No, John likes the girl just fine, but she’s not in any way making him feel better. I guess actually that’s a sad thing, but somehow I find it amusing. I am a mean girl.
He’s gentle with her, but he won’t even let the little girl touch him for the second healing: I can’t decide if that’s more of his whole thing about touch, or if the idea of being healed by magic bothers him somehow. Some people just aren’t really keen to deal with things that don’t work into their worldview unless they absolutely have no choice.
The beard is hot, I don’t care what anyone says.
McKay is so dumbstruck by Teyla’s competence; I’d say she should take offense, but he often appears to be dumbstruck by Sheppard’s competence, so I think maybe it’s just McKay’s natural state. It would be a little strange, to live nigh onto forty years on Earth and be used to the average intelligence of people around you being what it is, and then to go someplace where everyone’s been hand-picked and presumably *everyone* around you is pretty smart – even the military guys, I mean, you wouldn’t send your dumb grunts on a dangerous exploratory mission, would you? You’d send your best people, people you were sure could think on their feet, on the off chance that anything *dangerous* might happen in an *unexplored galaxy.* McKay is still probably getting used to the new curve. Teyla, bless her, is very cool about the whole thing and is like, “Feel free to do your own damn calculations, if it makes you feel better,” which he doesn’t do. There should be more McKay and Teyla stories, het or gen.
Big heterosexual seduction scene! Okay, I’ve been over all this ad nauseam, so I’ll just say again, he goes into this pretty cautiously. I think it’s interesting that he’s just received his first sign in ages that his people really are out there and haven’t forgotten him; maybe he’s got his hopes of rescue back up and he’s wondering, is he going to be an asshole if he sleeps with her now and then fucks off home and never calls her ever again?
The sex must have been pretty good, though, because he totally forgets to go through the backpack the next morning and read Teyla’s note. That bugs me a little; I hate when the plot hinges on those peculiar little pieces of chance – just because Shakespeare pulled it off doesn’t mean *you* can. Honestly, don’t you think he’d have gone through the bag as soon as he found it, rather than hauling it home first? It’s sad that when the rest of the fandom is getting themselves bent out of shape about Sheppard banging some girl, I’m all worked up about the improbability of Sheppard not getting around to wondering if there might be some kind of note or something in this bag. This is the kind of annoying detail that keeps me awake at night, people!
I really don’t understand men, though – and here I’m thinking about the writers, because they’re the ones who invented this particular character for Sheppard’s romantic arc. She *stalks him with her brain* without telling him she’s capable of that, she makes this big deal about how he’s The One she’s waited for all her life, and also that she thinks he holds the key to the mysteries of the universe. Do men really find that sexy? Because I would be *scared of this girl.* But apparently she’s written to be a perfectly reasonable object of our hero’s affections.
Anyway, I actually did like this scene pretty well. I liked it that she finally sat him down and went, “Look, seriously, this has been dragging on forever; *do something.*” I liked the way Flanigan played the scene, with this mix of wariness and interest, still not sure if he’s going to be stuck here forever with her or not and not entirely sure if that makes this okay or not okay, making the little jokes he makes when he’s nervous and trying not to get too heavy with people (“I wish you would’ve told me, I wouldn’t have gone on a ten-hour run” is fucking classic – particularly if you read it as coming from someone who still isn’t sure if he wants an excuse to get out of this or not). I just really liked it that Sheppard seemed out of his depth and confused in this scene, because like I said, he’s not so great with relationships, but on the other hand he clearly does like Teer well enough to be thinking that a relationship with her sounds nice. I also find his other *wish you’d told me* interesting, about the telepathy – he suggests she could have come on his mission with him and helped him out. This more than anything is what convinces me he’s fond of Teer; if Sheppard really likes you, his brain doesn’t automatically go to “I should hit that!” – it goes to “You and me could work together!” That’s clearly Sheppard’s real expression of connection and warmth, that’s where he really puts the people he feels close to – not in his bed, but at his back (that’s kinda poetic; don’t ruin it with dirty jokes, please).
But he does have sex with her, and why shouldn’t he? People who are tense about it are, IMO, just being awfully hard on Sheppard. He’s lonely, he’s apparently been celibate for quite some time, he likes her, she likes him. I’m happy for him. Of course, I also wish he’d gone through the fucking backpack at some point, but that’s only tangentially related.
Now we’re onto possibly my favorite short scene in this episode. First of all, look how fucking bored Ronon looks during the catch-up-exposition phase – *until* Beckett glances back at him, and then he straightens up and is like, “No, what, I’m totally listening.” And then there’s McKay being so fucking pleased with himself – he thinks his dick is *so big* right now he doesn’t know how he even manages to stand up! McKay in his element really is adorable.
This week’s Heather Hearts McKay moment is now upon us! McKay says – *specifically to Ronon* – “Hey, we may even get a ZPM out of this,” and then does that little point-and-tongue-click thing. I literally have no idea how anyone *else* read that scene, but it totally looked like, “Aw, yeah, who’s your daddy?” to me. How d’you like me *now*? And Ronon is, in fact, impressed, as McKay assumed he would be, although why he thinks Ronon would be keener on a new ZPM than, say, Elizabeth would is up in the air. Maybe they have plans to use it as the galaxy’s largest hot plate? Or maybe he doesn’t care but also thinks McKay is totally cute when he’s being smug, or maybe McKay fits into his mind as “the guy who hunts and gathers Ancient artifacts,” so he’s impressed by the fact that McKay has made a good kill rather than by what in particular it is he’s dragging home. I have no idea, but I’m glad he didn’t puncture holes in Rodney’s enthusiasm. Whatever! Heather Hearts McKay! And will totally show her love and appreciation by writing many stories wherein the size of his batteries really does get Ronon hot. (Man, it’s about time it occurred to *someone* in the AlphaCen universe to find out what it takes to make Ronon spread his legs.)
Why is it when Sheppard merely says “thunder and lightning,” I have this sudden image of him headbanging along to “Bohemian Rhapsody”? God, now I want to see *Sheppard’s World* so very badly. Party on, Rodney!
I do also find it interesting that Sheppard says “how do you expect me to feel like I belong here when I’m fighting alone for you?” Like, okay, thanks for letting me bang your sister, but what I *really* want is my fucking team back, capisce? He’s so more emotionally invested in having comrades-in-arms than he ever could be in any romantic relationship. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the person Sheppard *is* sleeping with is the only person who made the slightest attempt to fight with him; that probably transformed her from “that chick who won’t stop making me breakfast” into “hey, that girl’s okay!” in his head. Not so okay that he won’t bolt like a racehorse and never glance back when he hears his real friends are here, however.
McKay is so terribly pragmatic. Everyone else is still kind of in this “go, go, let’s hurry” mindset, and he’s so over that, now that he doesn’t have to worry about losing time on the order of weeks and months. One thing I find interesting about McKay is that he switches gears really fast; if something new comes along to change his situation, he seems to zip sideways into whatever new pattern with very little trouble. I sometimes wonder if Rodney is really a lot smarter than the rest of his scientists, or just *really fucking fast,* so he’s coming up with things in twenty minutes that they’d have gotten to this time tomorrow.
“What’s a time dilation field?” Jeez, I guess it’s a thing that makes it so you’ve been gone for two hours where we are and six months where you are. You know, sometimes I’m with Rodney; stupid questions make the baby Jesus cry.
Okay, here’s what bugs me about the “created by our fears” twist – not that it’s stupid (which it is), but that *they must have known about it all along* and nobody bothered to tell Sheppard. At first I thought maybe they had just realized the truth (hence the “epiphany” of the title?), but then I realized that’s hardly possible; by my counter they show up exactly 58 seconds after Sheppard does, and given that he hauled ass out here, they must have been up and on his heels immediately – no time for debate, reflection, or epiphanies. Even if they’re capable of teleporting here (which really is the only logical way they could have stayed that close behind John at a dead run), they literally only had *one minute* to decide collectively to do this. They can’t have just come to this realization, which means they already knew. And didn’t think to tell the guy that their construct was beating the crap out of. Dude, that sucks. I clearly don’t understand the mechanisms of Ascension, because that’s the kind of thing I think would weigh against you.
Sheppard’s “one day” is totally “yeah, yeah, I’ll call you.” It’s a good thing she no longer has breath to hold.
Also, I know they want to make Elizabeth look all culturally sensitive, but fuck that, I think they should close the fucking Faire and use the ZPM for, oh, *the war against the Wraith.* People can meditate on their own damn time. Daniel figured out how to Ascend on his feet, through actually doing things, so clearly the monastic thing isn’t a requirement, and that suck-barrier is a fucking public health hazard. Shut up and take the ZPM, Liz; they’re Ascended now, they’re not allowed to stop you.
“What is it with you and Ascended women?” Sheppard’s shrug is the most honest answer possible, because God knows it’s nothing he does. They just follow him home, that’s all.
And then, after all this, he’s all like, “maybe kinda almost missed you a little bit now and then just for a sec.” Therapy, buddy, I mean it. I’m not saying you have to be Joe Feelings, but it might be good for your mental health if you could say you missed your friends without ten minutes of qualifiers. Although then we wouldn’t have gotten I-cannot-tell-a-lie Ronon being like, “I’d say the same, except I didn’t.” Which made me laugh. And Teyla tries to stop him; she’s such a good babysitter. “Now, Ronon, what do we say?” “Oh, uh – missed you, too!” “Very good. Go wash up before snacks, please.” Hey, man, he was just being honest. They weren’t talking about being *traumatically afraid for one another’s lives,* they were talking about *missing* people, and it was only two hours. It’s like the log/branch thing: you should specify, if you have certain things you want him to come up with. I mean, had Sheppard really said what he meant, which was, “God, I thought you guys had totally abandoned me and didn’t even care if I ever came back or not and I was totally on my own and McKay was going to sleep with Ronon and Elizabeth was going to stop having a weird crush on me and start having one on Lorne and you were going to let that one guy who doesn’t even have a name fly my Jumper and I didn’t actually matter to any of you at all, even though you guys are the best friends I’ve ever had!” – *then* Ronon could have said something useful, such as, “No, we were totally driving ourselves crazy trying to figure out how to save you! Didn’t you read the note?”
And that was Epiphany. I liked it pretty well! It was still goofy, and the pacing was a slight bit wonky, but Sheppard is hot and interesting and McKay totally made a pass at Ronon and Teyla looked S-M-R-T smart, so I’ll take it.
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Date: 2005-12-03 09:33 pm (UTC)From: