hth | hot tips for three ships

The threesomes are here, the threesomes are here! And lo, I devour, and lo, I recommend.

(One caveat: I am *exactly* the kind of girl who will rec herself anonymously, if I should feel as though I've turned out something that people honestly would like to read. Hence, any of the writers of the stories that follow, uh, may or may not be me. Tell me more of this "shame" of which you speak!)

Put Your Head Into the Sea and The Limitations of Force are good, strong Teyla/Ronon/Sheppard stories with a Lost Boys, Enzyme Porn theme. I like Enzyme Porn, but I'm often left asking myself, where's the Rodney? Because he was on drugs, too, dammit! Cookies and porn shall belong to the one who writes me a nice, wrong Teyla/Ronon/Rodney Lost Boys orgy.

And speaking of SGA threesomes, HAVE I MENTIONED LATELY HOW I LOVE SHEPPARD/MCKAY/RONON? Yes? *Lately?* Okay, but again: I really, really do. ...like a... is a slightly quirky, wildly romantic story. Pull Back to Reveal is crunchier, and unstoppably wonderful. I am grinning and rubbing my hands together maniacally. My OT3!!!

Them that likes the sad stories may really like Short Days Ago, a slightly dysopian, bitterly lovely Harry/Ron/Hermione, and Ten years before the Flood, Aragorn/Arwen/Legolas -- because if you're writing Middle Earth, and your readers don't want to fling themselves off something tall in utter despair over the ravages of time and the futility of it all, you're just not doing it right.

If Mal is your man, then this was your year! Xue Bai, Xue Hong is a disjointed Mal/River/Simon fairytale from the days when River was still really *really* fucked up, instead of just pretty fucked up; not exactly happy and not exactly sad, just beautiful. Daughters of Jerusalem is another Mal/River story (there were several this year, perhaps because we've all, y'know, seen the movie, which begs for it), with Inara, and coming of age in a Companion's world. And in Where Circles Begin, the Washburns treat their Captain really, really nice, yes indeed.

And then, girls! Mmm, girls. Metropolis Girls is a sweet-natured piece of Chloe/Lana porn that we and Lex get to sit in on. We no doubt have earned it through good, clean living; I don't know what Lex's excuse is, other than the luck of the damned. *g* Also, the very fabulous Spanish Melodies and Bones is a Rodney/Katie/Cadman triangle-type-thing that has done nothing, nothing to get me over my ginormous crush on Laura Cadman. Quite the reverse, in fact.

And last but not least, a special squee-out to my own Secret Santa, who wrote me a Jayne & the Tamlings story called Ending Nightmares. Now, normally when I think Jayne, of course the first thing I think of is dirtywronghotbad, but this author really went a different direction, focusing on River trying to get her life back together post-Serenity. It's a story about hauntings (and because it's River, and she's a little off, we never truly know if she's being *haunted,* or if she's personifying the worst of her memories, but the lovely thing is that ultimately it doesn't matter, because it's very real to River), and it makes perfect sense that, for this River, Simon and Jayne are the only ones who can be her protectors, the most solid and unshakeable people in her world -- Simon because of their relationship, and Jayne just because he's, well, kind of the dictionary definition of "solid." The treatment of the rest of the crew and their lingering nightmares is short but perfectly incisive -- Wash protecting Zoe with his dinosaurs, OMG! *Best thing ever!* And, *yes,* yes to this:
Shepherd Book protected Jayne sometimes. River wasn't sure why, but she suspected that it was because they had been friends. Or as close to friends as was possible with Jayne. Even though he was protected, though, she knew that he was the best choice. The others had pairs, significant others that kept them warm at night—or, at least, whose memories kept them warm—but it was different with Jayne.

Even if he could see the nightmares, River suspected that he'd just throw his blanket over his head and sleep through their haunting. That's why she chose him.
Jayne in a nutshell, and I have a soft spot like the Sea of Tranquility for the Jayne & Book friendship, so this just melted me. Melted. Anyway, thank you, Secret Santa!

And thank you, Zvi, for taking this challenge on. Because nothing says Epiphany like, well, three guys who bring their own oil! Er, I mean. Threesomes.