SGA fic: Breathe You Deep

[hth]

Breathe You Deep
by Hth

109k
various pairings
it's gen, it's het, it's slash, it's a floor wax!
Summary: Cold and flu season, like many other things, sucks more in space.
Warnings: A for Angst. The astute reader will notice that I hardly ever warn for angst, and might then imagine I mean rather a *lot* of angst. That's your warning. All sales final.

Special thanks to cesperanza for beta ("You're at about an eight, and I need you at about a four...") and as per usual to marythefan for encouragement and general evil ("What, you think I'm going to tell you *not* to do it?")

"You’re standing here telling us that half the galaxy, not to mention our friends, could fall over dead by Christmas, and you’re bringing us what, exactly, to deal with this problem? Amoxicillin and chicken soup?"

Comments

[linabean.livejournal.com]

Hi, there. Because of my unfortunate and irrational leaving-feedback issues, I've owed you repsonses to your wonderful SGA stories for a long time.

But now that we've got canon evidence that traveling through the Stargate doesn't kill off infectious germs, I feel like, whatever my issues, I really have to leave you feedback on this story in particular.

When you'd first posted it, a friend of mine asked if I'd read it yet, and when I said I hadn't, we had this conversation:

Her: dude, okay, the Daedalus brought the cold.
Her: and then RONON GOT SICK.
Her: and then the ATHOSIANS got SICK.
Her: and then RONON DIED.
Her: in like, THREE WEEKS.
Me: WHAT.
Her: and he and Rodney had just gotten together and were REALLY HAPPY.
Her: and then a whole bunch of the Athosians died!
Me: and Rodney invents a time machine?
Her: and then John liked Teyla, but basically she was all "you killed most of my people and I just see DEATH WHEN I SEE YOU, BYE!"
Me: I have to say, that's a good break-up line. You can't really argue with that.
Her: and Ronon was all--in a CHEST TUBE, and they cut his HAIR and Rodney wouldn't BELIEVE IT
Her: oh my god, it was so sad.
Her: Rodney wouldn't believe it and wouldn't visit him at first.
Her: and Ronon was just GOOGLY WITH LOVE for him.
Me: Oh God, Ronon *would* be. Sarcastic and googly
Me: GODDAMMIT, why would you do that to the characters when you could make them be sex slaves for each other!
Her: well--it was by Hth, so--
Me: oh. Oh, I guess I'll have to read it, then.

And I'm so glad I did!

Actually, I'm glad I was spoiled first, too. I can see where some people would like the devastating impact of being surprised in this story--because you do the devastating so *well* here--but I think if I hadn't known what to expect, I would've been anxiously looking ahead to the end instead of appreciating everything as it was unfolding.

And you let things unfold so well that I'm glad I was able to pay attention to them. It's often really hard for me to see John letting himself fall for someone, but it seemed so natural and right here--I could really see why he'd feel so lucky to have Teyla--and it was so poignant to know how badly opening himself up to someone would turn out. (It was also interesting to think about how that compared to how badly the expedition's effects on the Athosians have turned out.) And Teyla's actions and responses made perfect sense too--I completely believed her being in love with John, and I completely understood all the other things going on around her becoming so much bigger than romantic love for one man.

And, gahhh. Ronon and Rodney. I just love the way you write them together, and I completely believed their being in love, too. Even with the spoilers, I was anxious about Rodney taking so long to go visit him! (That also seemed like a very plausible reaction on his part.) And then when Rodney was finally by Ronon's bedside, I loved the references to what I assume is the prequel (which I also loved), when Ronon made Rodney tea and called him brave and they talked about how they'd keep fighting, you know, as long as--and now Ronon can't breathe! I--! THIS IS REALLY SAD, OKAY.

Really, I think maybe what *really* got to me was the inadequacy of how Rodney could express his grief: he ends up lifting a poem from a movie--and a nice poem, to be sure, but one full of cultural references that couldn't have really meant anything to Ronon. And, for all that, his grief and love still come through as so genuine and affecting.

And, even through the deadly epidemic and all, your touches of comedy were, as always, very funny. There were some great lines here. ('"I'm so perfect for her," John said smugly.' Oh, poor Sheppard! Poor Teyla and her people! Well, it was funny at *that point* in the story.)

So, right. Thanks so much for sharing the story! I really was glad to read it.

(incidental stuff not fitting in the first post)

[linabean.livejournal.com]

Incidentally, feel free to skip this part, since it's not feedback, per se, and isn't necessarily interesting. But--and, hey, speaking of poetry--shortly before I'd read your story, I'd been thinking about how some poems could apply really well to Teyla and Ronon in Atlantis, under the right circumstances. And then it turned out the circumstances in your story matched up, I thought, really well with the poems I'd looked at for Teyla.

They're by Anna Akhmatova, one an excerpt from "Requiem" and the other an untitled poem, and while they're a lot better in Russian, where they've got rhyme and meter and all that, I think they're still pretty good in English.

* * * *
No, not under the vault of alien skies,
And not under the shelter of alien wings--
I was with my people then,
There, where my people, unfortunately, were.

* * * *
I am not with those who abandoned their land
To the lacerations of the enemy.
I am deaf to their coarse flattery,
I won't give them my songs.

But to me an exile is forever pitiful,
Like a prisoner, like a sickpatient.
Dark is your road, wanderer,
The bread of strangers smells of wormwood.

But here, in the blinding smoke of the conflagration
Destroying the remains of youth,
We have not deflected from ourselves
One single blow.

And we know that in the final accounting,
Each hour will be justified...
But there is no people in the world more tearless
More simple and proud than us.