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I'm participating in this because I want everyone to see it a million times and do it, because I'm personally fascinated. My answers, however, are not what I would think of as fascinating. Short version: yes. Yes, I has it.
Based on an exercise developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. If you participate in this blog game, PLEASE acknowledge their copyright.
Bold which apply to you:
* Father went to college -- My father has two doctorates, a D.Min. and a PhD. -- the first he got in seminary before I was born, and he was in school for the second, in a clinical research program in educational psychology while I was growing up. My dad was actually my primary caretaker until I started school, because he worked part time and was in grad school and had the schedule flexibility that my mother didn't have.
* Father finished college -- see above.
* Mother went to college -- Both a Bachelor's and a Master's degree in education.
* Mother finished college -- My mom bailed through her undergrad work in three years because her parents would only give their approval to her getting married if she finished school first. *g* She started her master's program when I was pretty young, but she was teaching full-time and raising a kid and she dropped out of the program. She went back and finished the degree when I was, I can't remember, in my early 20s and my sister was in junior high, I believe.
* Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor -- I started to say no, but I do have an uncle (my mother's brother) who is a physician, so there you go. My father taught classes while he was in grad school of course, like you do, but was never a professor.
* Were the same or higher socio-economic class than your high school teachers -- Yup, the same.
* Had more than 50 books in your childhood home -- God, yes.
* Had more than 500 books in your childhood home -- Hm. Probably not. My mother has never really read for fun. My father and I had a lot of books, but more than 500? It doesn't seem like it. Certainly hundreds, but.... I don't know for sure, but I would say no, if only because I was a library junkie. The books I did own copies of were all ones I read over and over again.
* Were read children's books by a parent -- Oh, *God,* yes. My parents actually liked reading to me; it was probably their favorite part of the whole parenting job. *g* I remember mostly my mother reading to me when I was very small (*Lengthy,* I recall being a favorite of mine. That old lady sure loved her dog, man!), but when I was early school age, I remember my father reading me the Chronicles of Narnia and the Hobbit.
* Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18 -- I was pathologically shy as a kid, so one of the things my parents thought would help me was taking acting classes; I did that for years. I also played the viola for a year and the clarinet for, I think, three years...although those were through school, so I'm not sure that my parents payed for those lessons? They did have to buy the instruments, though. I remember doing dance class and horseback riding very briefly; I didn't like either. So, yeah, I guess I did take lessons, but I never really thought of myself as one of those lesson-taking children. I was a pretty busy kid, but my big commitments were the public radio show I did, school and community theater, and church groups -- more *doing stuff* than *being taught stuff.*
* The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively -- I wasn't sure what to do with this, exactly. It seemed like cheating not to bold it, for some reason, but.... Nobody in the media dresses as plainly as I do -- I mean, I'm strictly jeans and a shirt and maybe some earrings, I have no style to speak of. And although I can trot out the excellent grammar and diction when I feel like it, I do actually swear as much as my characters do and I have a slight but noticeable Southern twang, which is pretty much always used in the media to shorthand that a character is stupid and probably dangerous. So...I don't know? I don't really watch tv and movies and think that anyone on screen reminds me of me, particularly, but I felt like I should bold it because everyone who *is* "portrayed positively" on tv feels like someone I might know and be comfortable around, so I feel that in a sort of social-group sense, I'm included.
* Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18 -- I got my credit card just a couple of years ago and still resent it. The only things I've ever needed to put on it were the moving expenses from when we came to NC and the emergency vet bills when Thelma got sick. And I'll probably still be paying it off for the rest of my natural life.
* Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs -- The majority of my college costs were loans, with some scholarship money in the first couple of years. But my parents did pay my dorm and dining hall fees for the three years I was a residential student, which gets pretty expensive, and they're putting some of the money they inherited from my grandmother into repaying my student loans, so by the time all's said and done, I'm sure they will have paid more on my education than anyone.
* Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs -- No.
* Went to a private high school -- I went to public school, but our public school system was one of the best in the country; I would *absolutely* put my high school education up against anyone's.
* Went to summer camp -- I went to church camp every year. I *loved* church camp.
* Family vacations involved staying at hotels -- Yes. We stayed in cheap hotels, but after a few camping trips gone bad when I was quite small, my parents swore that as God was their witness, they would never sleep outside again, and they have not. *g* Traveling is one of the things my parents would work very hard to save up for, and we took some nice vacations when I was a kid -- to Yellowstone, to Disneyland (I know they say Disneyworld is better, but Disneyland was the one my dad watched them build on the Mickey Mouse Club, and by God, that was where he wanted to go!), to Vancouver, to the Wisconsin Dells, to the Badlands, to the Smokey Mountains. My family is partial to mountains. When we couldn't afford longer trips, we'd go to Chicago or to Branson (back when Branson was just an amusement park and two concert halls on a lake, someplace you only ever went to if you were from Missouri or Arkansas *g*), and yes, there was always a Motel 6 with our name on it.
* Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 -- There was no one to hand down to me. I had one older female cousin, but she was seven years older and lived in another state. I'm sure some of my clothes were garage sale finds, but most of them were new.
* There was original art in your house when you were a child -- One of my father's good friends is an artist, and when my father resigned from the church where he worked until I was ten or twelve, as a going-away gift this friend had him and my mom come out to his studio and pick whatever they wanted. They have a lovely, two-panel blue and green abstract piece that takes up the majority of one wall of their living room. I have no idea what it's worth, but probably something.
* You and your family lived in a single family house -- This one was tough, too -- which half of my childhood? We lived in three different duplexes, from the time I was born to the time I was twelve. Right before I started junior high, my parents bought their house. So...I guess if I consider the first eleven years the "formative" ones, then no. We always had another family upstairs or across the way.
* Your parents owned their own house or apartment before you left home -- I wasn't sure with this one -- owned it outright? They've refinanced the house several times and still owe quite a lot on it, twenty years later. So technically the bank owns it. But, yeah, in the sense that we normally say it, they own the house.
* You had your own room as a child -- I was an only child until I was ten, but even so, there was always enough room after Erica was born for us both to have our own rooms.
* You had a phone in your room before you turned 18 -- Indeed I did, and I abused it mightily. Ah, high school.
* Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course -- No. I don't remember anyone really suggesting that I should, even.
* Had your own TV in your room in High School -- My parents would never for a second have allowed it. Watching tv was sometimes they only time they would ever see me. *g*
* Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College -- Still don't.
* Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16 -- My first time was when I was eight or nine, and I flew to Chicago with my grandmother to visit my uncle, who was in medical school there. I thought it was awesome! Our vacations were usually road trips, though I think we did fly to California and to Vancouver. I've flown quite a lot by now, but not that much before 16.
* Went on a cruise with your family -- No. There was some discussion that my parents might take Mary and me on a cruise as a graduation present a couple of years ago, but the timing and the money didn't work out, sadly.
* Went on more than one cruise with your family -- No.
* Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up -- I don't remember going to any *art* museums with my parents, but they were crazy about science and natural history museums, planetariums, aquariums, all that sort of thing. We never traveled *anywhere* without finding something like that to go to.
* You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family -- I was pretty sheltered in a lot of ways; I don't think my parents liked me to worry about money, so they kept me fairly unaware of it. I remember there were times when I was young when my parents did talk about being broke and about having to figure out how to pay all the bills. But in terms of what the numbers were, what they made and what they owed? They never told me anything like that, just that everything would be okay. My parents didn't have a lot of extra when I was younger (they're at the point now where I'm constantly surprised how much money they *do* have), and there were a lot of things I just knew not to ask for, because they couldn't get it for me. But the things all of us did really want most, we usually could get, and the bills were always paid. It's kind of sad to me now to realize how much that really does count as "privilege." I think that's what *regular life* is supposed to be like.
Based on an exercise developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. If you participate in this blog game, PLEASE acknowledge their copyright.
Bold which apply to you:
* Father went to college -- My father has two doctorates, a D.Min. and a PhD. -- the first he got in seminary before I was born, and he was in school for the second, in a clinical research program in educational psychology while I was growing up. My dad was actually my primary caretaker until I started school, because he worked part time and was in grad school and had the schedule flexibility that my mother didn't have.
* Father finished college -- see above.
* Mother went to college -- Both a Bachelor's and a Master's degree in education.
* Mother finished college -- My mom bailed through her undergrad work in three years because her parents would only give their approval to her getting married if she finished school first. *g* She started her master's program when I was pretty young, but she was teaching full-time and raising a kid and she dropped out of the program. She went back and finished the degree when I was, I can't remember, in my early 20s and my sister was in junior high, I believe.
* Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor -- I started to say no, but I do have an uncle (my mother's brother) who is a physician, so there you go. My father taught classes while he was in grad school of course, like you do, but was never a professor.
* Were the same or higher socio-economic class than your high school teachers -- Yup, the same.
* Had more than 50 books in your childhood home -- God, yes.
* Had more than 500 books in your childhood home -- Hm. Probably not. My mother has never really read for fun. My father and I had a lot of books, but more than 500? It doesn't seem like it. Certainly hundreds, but.... I don't know for sure, but I would say no, if only because I was a library junkie. The books I did own copies of were all ones I read over and over again.
* Were read children's books by a parent -- Oh, *God,* yes. My parents actually liked reading to me; it was probably their favorite part of the whole parenting job. *g* I remember mostly my mother reading to me when I was very small (*Lengthy,* I recall being a favorite of mine. That old lady sure loved her dog, man!), but when I was early school age, I remember my father reading me the Chronicles of Narnia and the Hobbit.
* Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18 -- I was pathologically shy as a kid, so one of the things my parents thought would help me was taking acting classes; I did that for years. I also played the viola for a year and the clarinet for, I think, three years...although those were through school, so I'm not sure that my parents payed for those lessons? They did have to buy the instruments, though. I remember doing dance class and horseback riding very briefly; I didn't like either. So, yeah, I guess I did take lessons, but I never really thought of myself as one of those lesson-taking children. I was a pretty busy kid, but my big commitments were the public radio show I did, school and community theater, and church groups -- more *doing stuff* than *being taught stuff.*
* The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively -- I wasn't sure what to do with this, exactly. It seemed like cheating not to bold it, for some reason, but.... Nobody in the media dresses as plainly as I do -- I mean, I'm strictly jeans and a shirt and maybe some earrings, I have no style to speak of. And although I can trot out the excellent grammar and diction when I feel like it, I do actually swear as much as my characters do and I have a slight but noticeable Southern twang, which is pretty much always used in the media to shorthand that a character is stupid and probably dangerous. So...I don't know? I don't really watch tv and movies and think that anyone on screen reminds me of me, particularly, but I felt like I should bold it because everyone who *is* "portrayed positively" on tv feels like someone I might know and be comfortable around, so I feel that in a sort of social-group sense, I'm included.
* Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18 -- I got my credit card just a couple of years ago and still resent it. The only things I've ever needed to put on it were the moving expenses from when we came to NC and the emergency vet bills when Thelma got sick. And I'll probably still be paying it off for the rest of my natural life.
* Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs -- The majority of my college costs were loans, with some scholarship money in the first couple of years. But my parents did pay my dorm and dining hall fees for the three years I was a residential student, which gets pretty expensive, and they're putting some of the money they inherited from my grandmother into repaying my student loans, so by the time all's said and done, I'm sure they will have paid more on my education than anyone.
* Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs -- No.
* Went to a private high school -- I went to public school, but our public school system was one of the best in the country; I would *absolutely* put my high school education up against anyone's.
* Went to summer camp -- I went to church camp every year. I *loved* church camp.
* Family vacations involved staying at hotels -- Yes. We stayed in cheap hotels, but after a few camping trips gone bad when I was quite small, my parents swore that as God was their witness, they would never sleep outside again, and they have not. *g* Traveling is one of the things my parents would work very hard to save up for, and we took some nice vacations when I was a kid -- to Yellowstone, to Disneyland (I know they say Disneyworld is better, but Disneyland was the one my dad watched them build on the Mickey Mouse Club, and by God, that was where he wanted to go!), to Vancouver, to the Wisconsin Dells, to the Badlands, to the Smokey Mountains. My family is partial to mountains. When we couldn't afford longer trips, we'd go to Chicago or to Branson (back when Branson was just an amusement park and two concert halls on a lake, someplace you only ever went to if you were from Missouri or Arkansas *g*), and yes, there was always a Motel 6 with our name on it.
* Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 -- There was no one to hand down to me. I had one older female cousin, but she was seven years older and lived in another state. I'm sure some of my clothes were garage sale finds, but most of them were new.
* There was original art in your house when you were a child -- One of my father's good friends is an artist, and when my father resigned from the church where he worked until I was ten or twelve, as a going-away gift this friend had him and my mom come out to his studio and pick whatever they wanted. They have a lovely, two-panel blue and green abstract piece that takes up the majority of one wall of their living room. I have no idea what it's worth, but probably something.
* You and your family lived in a single family house -- This one was tough, too -- which half of my childhood? We lived in three different duplexes, from the time I was born to the time I was twelve. Right before I started junior high, my parents bought their house. So...I guess if I consider the first eleven years the "formative" ones, then no. We always had another family upstairs or across the way.
* Your parents owned their own house or apartment before you left home -- I wasn't sure with this one -- owned it outright? They've refinanced the house several times and still owe quite a lot on it, twenty years later. So technically the bank owns it. But, yeah, in the sense that we normally say it, they own the house.
* You had your own room as a child -- I was an only child until I was ten, but even so, there was always enough room after Erica was born for us both to have our own rooms.
* You had a phone in your room before you turned 18 -- Indeed I did, and I abused it mightily. Ah, high school.
* Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course -- No. I don't remember anyone really suggesting that I should, even.
* Had your own TV in your room in High School -- My parents would never for a second have allowed it. Watching tv was sometimes they only time they would ever see me. *g*
* Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College -- Still don't.
* Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16 -- My first time was when I was eight or nine, and I flew to Chicago with my grandmother to visit my uncle, who was in medical school there. I thought it was awesome! Our vacations were usually road trips, though I think we did fly to California and to Vancouver. I've flown quite a lot by now, but not that much before 16.
* Went on a cruise with your family -- No. There was some discussion that my parents might take Mary and me on a cruise as a graduation present a couple of years ago, but the timing and the money didn't work out, sadly.
* Went on more than one cruise with your family -- No.
* Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up -- I don't remember going to any *art* museums with my parents, but they were crazy about science and natural history museums, planetariums, aquariums, all that sort of thing. We never traveled *anywhere* without finding something like that to go to.
* You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family -- I was pretty sheltered in a lot of ways; I don't think my parents liked me to worry about money, so they kept me fairly unaware of it. I remember there were times when I was young when my parents did talk about being broke and about having to figure out how to pay all the bills. But in terms of what the numbers were, what they made and what they owed? They never told me anything like that, just that everything would be okay. My parents didn't have a lot of extra when I was younger (they're at the point now where I'm constantly surprised how much money they *do* have), and there were a lot of things I just knew not to ask for, because they couldn't get it for me. But the things all of us did really want most, we usually could get, and the bills were always paid. It's kind of sad to me now to realize how much that really does count as "privilege." I think that's what *regular life* is supposed to be like.
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-02 08:42 pm (UTC)From:* Father went to college -- Yes. Three degrees, possibly four. I think he may have a second Masters.
* Mother went to college -- Bachelor's and Masters.
* Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor -- Yes, several. Mostly doctors, but at least one lawyer, and my dad's a professor.
* Were the same or higher socio-economic class than your high school teachers -- Yes.
* Had more than 50 books in your childhood home -- Yes.
* Had more than 500 books in your childhood home -- Yes. I think.
* Were read children's books by a parent -- Yes.
* Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18 -- Yes. Piano, voice, and horseback riding.
* The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively -- Yes, if we're talking in the general sense of straight, married, middle-class white women.
* Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18 -- No.
* Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs -- Yes.
* Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs -- No. I got scholarships, and I also got into a system where I was paying in-state tuition rather than out-of-state, which was a substantial financial difference.
* Went to a private high school -- I went to a public school, but it was a magnet school for gifted and talented. I suspect it's the top academic high school in the area.
* Went to summer camp -- Yes.
* Family vacations involved staying at hotels -- Yes, though we hardly went anywhere. My parents were not really the family vacation type.
* Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 -- Not all. I think I probably, at some point, got hand-me-downs from a cousin or two. I have a lot of them.
* There was original art in your house when you were a child -- My parents are not art-having people either.
* You and your family lived in a single family house -- Yes.
* Your parents owned their own house or apartment before you left home -- Yes.
* You had your own room as a child -- Yes.
* You had a phone in your room before you turned 18 -- No.
* Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course -- Not a formal one. I studied on my own.
* Had your own TV in your room in High School -- Yes.
* Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College -- Uh, no. This seems outlandish to me.
* Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16 -- Yes.
* Went on a cruise with your family -- No. My parents are not cruise-taking people.
* Went on more than one cruise with your family -- No.
* Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up -- No.
* You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family -- Yes. Though where I grew up, heating is not so much a problem.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-03 05:58 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2008-01-02 09:46 pm (UTC)From:* Father went to college – Yes. He was valedictorian at an Ivy League and went on to get an M.D./Ph.D.
* Mother went to college – Yes, nursing school. Went back in her forties to get an MBA.
* Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor – My father's a physician and a professor, one of my uncles is a surgeon. No attorneys, though, but one CEO.
* Were the same or higher socio-economic class than your high school teachers – Yes.
* Had more than 50 books in your childhood home – Yes. I would even say had more than 50 in my room, possibly on my bed at any given time, as a child.
* Had more than 500 books in your childhood home – Definitely. We still have the 1972 Encyclopedia Brittanica and a dictionary on a lighted stand.
* Were read children's books by a parent – Yes. Almost every night. My mom even taped herself reading books aloud so we could play them on car rides.
* Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18 – Yes. Piano, voice, brief flings with violin and trumpet, and years of useless dance lessons.
* The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively – Yes. I'm assuming by this they mean "I am one of the majority." If by this they mean "overweight," then generally no.
* Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18 – No. I think I got my first one when I was 18. Had my own bank account at 14, though.
* Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs – Yes.
* Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs – Yes.
* Went to a private high school – Yes. I went to a boarding school, where both my parents and my brother had gone.
* Went to summer camp – Yes, a seven week sleep-away camp that cost as much per day as boarding school, as my mom liked to remind me. I went for eight summers, one as a counselor.
* Family vacations involved staying at hotels – Some. Others involved "camping" in the back of the station wagon, which we'd jury-rigged screens for so we could leave the windows rolled down.
* Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 – Some. My mother also sewed me some, and the new was all bought at a factory outlet store. I was saved from hand-me-downs by only having an older brother.
* There was original art in your house when you were a child – Yes, painted by my mother, my grandmother and my great-grandmother. Heck, I've got original art on my walls now, which I definitely couldn't afford. My mother paints over 60 paintings a year and they have to go somewhere. We also had various probably illegally exported statuary my grandmother acquired in her world travels.
* You and your family lived in a single family house – Yes.
* Your parents owned their own house or apartment before you left home – Maybe? Does this mean owned in the sense of not mortgaged? If so, then no.
* You had your own room as a child – Yes.
* You had a phone in your room before you turned 18 – Yes. Boarding school. Everyone had a phone.
* Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course – No. People at my school really didn't take prep courses—the school was considered good enough by itself.
* Had your own TV in your room in High School – No. Again, boarding school. I had only very limited access to tv, which involved fighting off 16 girls who wanted to watch Titanic again.
* Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College – Yes, actually. Was given one at birth.
* Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16 – Yes. I think I was 2 on my first flight.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-02 09:46 pm (UTC)From:* Went on more than one cruise with your family – No.
* Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up – Everywhere within driving distance, pretty much.
* You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family – Not until high school when my parents bought a very large house in the very depressed New Haven housing market. The first month there was January, and boy howdy we heard when the first heating bill came.
I think this is an interesting meme, but also slightly misleading. I will not argue that I'm not privileged, but I was born when my dad was a resident. Like most white collar careers, pay is very low for a very long time and then takes off into the stratosphere, so most of my childhood my dad was supporting a wife and two kids on very little money. Though I had art and museums and travelling, I did not, for example, eat at a restaurant more than once or twice a year. We went cross-country skiing all the time, but despite the fact that my father was a varsity alpine skiier and ski jumper in college (and his whole childhood was on the slopes, and most Thanksgiving table conversation involved downhill skiing stories), I've never gone downhill skiing, which my mother has told me is because they couldn't afford the lift fees. As you say, they compromised on a lot of things to give me the things they thought the most important.
Since our society places a lot of value on the "self-made man," this meme seems to be designed to force acknowledgment of how much help we have from our parents, in almost a confrontational way. I come from a long line of prep school and ivy league attendees, I've never had any illusion that I got where I am on my own. I don't think it's a bad thing to have help from your parents—it's pretty admirable, actually, on the parents part. So maybe it's just me, but I'm having this weird shame reaction, like, should I feel bad I went to boarding school? Is it supposed to be better if I have fewer things bolded? Does admitting to privilege just open yourself up to criticism that you have only gotten wherever you've gotten in life because it's been given to you, and on no merits of your own? I feel like there's no way to acknowledge privelege without dismissing one's own accomplishments, but maybe that's the point. (I went to the same boarding school as our *hem* dear *hem* president, so I've had this argument before, clearly.)
no subject
Date: 2008-01-03 12:57 am (UTC)From:You mean, as opposed to the gentle, pragmatic, and accepting way that we recognize that those who lack such support may find it considerably more difficult to get ahead in life?
no subject
Date: 2008-01-03 06:13 am (UTC)From:The reason I find it interesting is the exact reason you find it misleading. *g* I think our culture has a tendency to overidentify money -- particularly liquid, spendable cash money -- and social class/social privilege. They often go together and reinforce each other in many ways (it's easier to have class privilege if you can pay for stuff, it's easier to have money if you can function in the moneyed classes), but a lot of people out there are like you and me -- raised in families with limited buying power but practically every single social marker of the upper classes -- our educations, the way we use language, our range of knowledge about the world, our experiences. People like us can forget that in many ways, those things are the more powerful and indelible markers of privilege than listing our assets.
I get what you're saying about the shame reaction, but I don't think that's what the meme is designed to elicit. *g* I think it's meant to make people who think of themselves as solidly middle-class recognize that many of the experiences they take for granted or think of as so normal and trivial as to be meaningless (staying in hotels, owning books, riding on a plane, having your parents help you pay for college) are in fact divisive experiences, and that there are a lot of people who see these as clear signs of being "rich folks." It's probably not really useful for you in that sense; I imagine that if you come from a long line of Ivy League people, this is not the first time you've been asked to think of yourself as privileged! But for a lot of middle-class Americans, that's just not part of their self-image, even when it's entirely true.
(I'm with you, by the way, on the occasional scorn I see -- not in this meme so much, but sometimes -- heaped on kids whose parents do certain things for them, particularly paying for their education. I mean, my parents were very clear that they saw educating their kids as part of their *job* as parents, and that if we chose not to have college educations, it was never going to be because we couldn't afford to, so long as they had anything to say about it. I admire them for that as well, and should I ever end up having a kid myself, I will damn sure have the exact same attitude. It is a mark of privilege, but having privileges isn't evil in and of itself; hell, I think the point of social justice is not to eliminate "privileges" like that, but to make them available to many more people than currently have access to them!)
no subject
Date: 2008-01-03 01:35 pm (UTC)From:Very good point, and I hadn't been thinking about it in those terms. I guess that's what bothered me about the meme, that it combined things I think of as just good parenting (reading to your kids) with things that are direct indicators of wealth (owning a home, paying for college). Also, the meme is preselected to be filled out by people of middle class or above, since it's circulating on lj, which is used by people with regular access to a computer and who enjoy reading and writing--and over-analyzing. :)
As you say, I'm accustomed to seeing myself as privileged, so maybe the meme misses its point with me. I have what my parents always referred to as pedigree because of my education, which is often viewed as an old-fashioned, elitist one. I've had people tell me my parents abused me for sending me away to school at 14 and people ask me what I did to get sent away. And I've had people stop talking to me (literally turn a cold shoulder) when I say where I went to school (an ivy league)--which is not fun on dates. On the other hand, I was surrounded at school by the extremely wealthy--kids who take private flying lessons, spend their summers learning opera in Europe, have enormous projection screen tvs in their dorm rooms and stipends that would make you blush. I've also been surrounded by a lot of scholarship students, since both schools were need-blind. So I've always seen the top of the social ladder, as it were, and known I'm definitely not that.
I read a book a while ago called The Status Syndrome which linked class with long-term health. Very interesting read, if a bit oversimplified, but its main point is that its not the absolute wealth of a person that matters to their happiness but their position relative to those in their peer group (above, of course, the poverty line, where the amount of money you have is extremely important to survival). In other words, making (to pick a random number) $20K can be enough in a small town in the midwest, but can make you miserable in NYC surrounded by i-bankers.
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Date: 2008-01-03 03:27 pm (UTC)From:Anyway, the point is, private schools from the age of 2, excellent college which aside from grants and loans my parents paid for (and I got a full scholarship to Kenyon, so I could have gone for free, but they thought it was more important that I go to the place I found more intellectually exciting), way way way more than 500 books in the house that they did own (well, mortgage, but you know.) On the other hand, while I'm definitely educationally privileged, my dad's an architect and my mom is a freelance writer, and we lived in a part of DC which I think was a very cool and interesting place to grow up, but which they actually lost friends over when they moved there (it was a majority black neighborhood, and you really seperate the fake liberals from the real ones when you do something like move your six-month-old there *and then send her to elementary school there* (it was a Catholic school.)) Growing up I felt fairly comfortable, but we didn't do "extras" like vacations, we didn't have a big tv, we were way behind the much more economically disadvantaged people I knew in getting our first VCR and microwave (which were both hand-me-downs from friends and relatives), and we never threw anything away that wasn't absolutely, finally, positively, 100% broken beyond my dad's ability to fix it. And lots of experience of poor American communities has taught me that it's the rare lower-class family that *doesn't* have a great new TV, you know?
So I do have all the upper-class markers in some ways, and I definitely consider myself privileged along the lines of education (and then all the opportunities that opens up). But definitely in a different way than the kids I went to high school with (I was on scholarship at an ur-swanky school across town; I commuted an hour each way by subway for the first two years, then drove a hand-me-down Nissan Datsun with the stuffing coming out of the seats; my classmates pretty regularly were given fancy cars when they turned 16. BMW fancy.) I never felt poor until I went to high school. Those kids really *were* privileged, not only educationally -- which they only sometimes took seriously -- but in the Serious Money way as well. And I just can't help but feel that it made a big difference, even though we'd mostly answer the questions on the meme in all the same ways.
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Date: 2008-01-03 03:48 pm (UTC)From:My high school not only offered a lot of scholarships but actively sought out applicants from different backgrounds. (As opposed to my college which was need-blind, yes, but only a certain type of applicant even throws in their hat there.) My high school also had a lot of policies to de-emphasize the difference in wealth of the students. For example, no one was allowed to have cars. My sophomore year they discontinued alpine skiing as a sport since students had to pay for their own equipment and lift fees which meant only the rich students could afford it. I think these policies make a difference. Popular culture portrayals of boarding schools like mine have never matched my experience--my school was pretty progressive. Not exactly Dead Poets Society.
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Date: 2008-01-02 10:05 pm (UTC)From:Summer camp? Cruises? Not the way anyone outside America lives.
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Date: 2008-01-03 06:15 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2008-01-03 03:53 am (UTC)From:I did find it interesting to answer the ones I could - my parents come from a low socio-economic (bluecollar) background, we struggled a lot for money and I am the first in my family to ever go to university (as we call college over here). Yet I could answer yes to some of the questions - such as we did have over 500 books in the house and my parents did read to me. Does that mean I am privileged in the area of getting a head start on education? I must admit, if my parents weren't interested in reading (as some of my uncles aren't) then I never would have had this good fortune (as some of my cousins don't). Further, my parents divorced when I was young and rather than pay child rearing, my dad paid off the house instead, so we owned our house from about my age of 16 onwards. I know that certainly made a difference compared to the other families in my area.
Most interestingly, I'm going to show this to my partner - he comes from a higher socio-economic background than I do, so his responses will be intriguing. In the interest of full disclosure, though, his mother comes from my background and married a higher economic background too. It makes me slightly uncomfortable in that Oedipean kind of way... :)
Thanks for a thought provoking meme and response.
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Date: 2008-01-03 06:23 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2008-01-03 07:50 am (UTC)From:Yes, I'd say that's definitely the case.
I have complicated thoughts about class. Money is a part of it, but not just how much money you have. What you spend it on (opera? motorcross?) is important. So is how you earn it (doctor? plumber?). It's perfectly possible to have values and beliefs of one class and the money of another (story of my life:-)
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Date: 2008-01-03 05:06 am (UTC)From:Have you been to Banff and Jasper National Parks in Alberta? I highly recommend both (http://pics.livejournal.com/simplelyric/gallery/0000g9d3).
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Date: 2008-01-03 06:25 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2008-01-03 07:00 am (UTC)From:Bloody freakin midwest winters.
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Date: 2008-01-22 01:48 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2008-01-03 09:46 am (UTC)From:I have complicated thoughts about class. Money is a part of it, but not just how much money you have. What you spend it on (opera? motorcross?) is important. So is how you earn it (doctor? plumber?). It's perfectly possible to have values and beliefs of one class and the money of another (story of my life:-)
I agree. I work in publishing right now (glamor industry = highly educated people competing for jobs which pay very badly, so what class does that make those of us who don't have additional resources?), but this reminds me of back when I was working in my first sex industry job, and this girl I was friendly with said that she wanted to be upper middle class so she could watch wrestling on cable while drinking beer in her recliner... I was like, well, but if you really want to be upper middle class you have to start reading The New York Times, and she said "No, I don't actually want to be upper middle class, I just want their money!"
Anyway, I find talking about class markers to be fascinating too--and every last one of these would be bolded for me except for the following:
Went to a private high school -- No.
Family vacations involved staying at hotels -- Occasionally, but we sometimes stayed in motels or shared a condo rental when we went skiing, and my grandparents had a summer place the whole family shared.
There was original art in your house when you were a child -- I am not sure I ever considered it Art while I was growing up because I thought art was the equivalent of what you saw in museums, but there were a few paintings my mom picked up at crafts fairs, tag sales, etc.
Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course -- I already had a math tutor at the time and didn't need a language one, so it was unnecessary.
Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College -- I didn't even know what an IRA or mutual fund was until well into my twenties.
Went on a cruise with your family -- No, my family did not take warm place vacations in general because my mom was into skiing, so she took us skiing instead (I think I was put on my first pair of skis around age 3, although I was never became an especially proficient skier).
Went on more than one cruise with your family -- We certainly went skiing more than once!
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Date: 2008-01-03 03:00 pm (UTC)From:Which means that I've noticed a lot of the important people in publishing are independently wealthy or, since it is a female-dominated industry, are married to very rich men. But since publishing houses have historically been the hobbies of wealthy people, that's not that surprising.
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Date: 2008-01-03 03:38 pm (UTC)From:I did self-support -- it was really important to me to do it -- but it was a major balancing act and I wound up taking in an extra roommate to do it, having overestimating the amount I could afford to spend on rent.
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Date: 2008-01-03 03:51 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2008-01-04 02:55 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2008-01-04 03:03 pm (UTC)From:Also, hello! Haven't talked to you in forever. We should get together some time when it's not ass cold out.