new fic: Radio Nowhere

[hth]

So...I started last week with First Thaw (SPOILERS for "Quarantine" thataway), and now I have this, and I sort of feel like it's a series now, in that it seems to be going somewhere. I DO NOT KNOW, at this point, where exactly that might be. I honestly don't. This will either be a fascinating exercise in writing adaptively and creatively to the contours of seasons 4 and 5 as they come up -- or it'll be a complete fucking disaster and I'll never write without an outline again until the day I die. We'll see!

Radio Nowhere
post-ep, 4.15 "Outcast"
oh -- and also, spoilers for Cloverfield. Random but true.

Comments

[copracat]

I knew. I knew you would do it right.

*hops on for the journey*

[hth-the-first.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks for the vote of confidence! *hug*

[grey853.livejournal.com]

I really like this. It's true to the characters and it does something that the show didn't do, show us a little bit about what might have happened between John and his brother as well as how John felt about his father.

[hth-the-first.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I was unbelievably frustrated by Outcast for setting up so much rich, well-acted tension between the two brothers, and then...not doing anything with it. A little FOLLOW-THROUGH, people, jeez! But on the other hand, it gives us all something to write about, doesn't it? *g*

Glad you liked this story.

[linabean.livejournal.com]

Yayy! I'm bad even when not sleep-deprived at teasing out all the things I like in fic, so here I'll just say 'thank you' for helping make so much more sense of some of the nonsense imposed on Nancy, with her violating national security in such a groundless and suspicious way. Of course she might do that, if she's still in love with him! It seems so obvious now; I think it just didn't occur to me because she seemed so with-it and...well, sane, overall, that I just assumed she'd have made her way past the landmine that is being in love with John Sheppard. But I suppose being in love doesn't work that way. Oh, poor Nancy.

[hth-the-first.livejournal.com]

Oh, God, she SO IS! I was thinking when I saw the ep of Katha Pollitt's new book of personal essays about the breakup of her partnership and how strong, feminist women get fucked up by bad relationships with the wrong man and try to cope with it. Particularly, I was thinking about her chapter about Google-stalking her ex, trying to figure out this person who turned out to be not at all the person she thought she knew -- and I just thought, yeah, that's exactly what Nancy's doing. She's *Google-stalking* her ex, only with Homeland Security clearance. It still drives her nuts that she doesn't know who he is, that he isn't who she thought, that she can't put the pieces together and she can't let go. Even though she has a new man now, there's just part of her that's not *done* yet with her relationship with John, that just can't walk away.

Sometimes I fear this is the INEVITABLE FATE of all the many good people who fall for Sheppard. Sigh.

[carolyn-claire.livejournal.com]

I really like these--I'd missed the first one, so thanks for linking to it. I've been thinking, recently, about how tired I am of epilogues and episode tags, but then I see these, and that's not it; I'm tired of the sameness of them, of everyone writing the same easy scenes I could (and have, already) easily imagine, the ones that write themselves--John and Rodney going to get that beer, discovering that they were actually meant for each other, etc. You're writing things that aren't obvious, things with some original thought behind them, as well as some complex, lovely characterizations and your trademark intimacy. Do keep these up, please.

[hth-the-first.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I know there is a real need and desire in fandom for that kind of comfort-food writing -- stories you've seen before and know full well you'll see again -- and intellectually I don't see anything wrong with it. But I'm kind of like you, my tastes run more toward the "holy shit, I never would have thought of that!" type of experience as a reader. *g* So I'm extra glad that I can sometimes provide that little jolt of something new and different for other readers.

[fivedeadweasels.livejournal.com]

Wow, I really like these. Keep it up!

[hth-the-first.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm hoping the show will give me something that pushes me in one direction or another, in terms of what to do next. *g*

[liviapenn.livejournal.com]

Oh, *John*....

[hth-the-first.livejournal.com]

I KNOW, RIGHT?!? He's so gorgeously messed up. It hurts my heart!

[lamaudite.livejournal.com]

Oh, ouch! So sad. Shep is so messed up, I wonder if he realises his effect on the people around. Well done. Really interesting and at least this gives me a little more that what the EP did. Oh, and good Ronon. Dear, dear Ronon.

[hth-the-first.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm not sure he does realize his effect; I think he still thinks of himself as a loner, and he probably isn't used to the idea that there are so many people now who want and need things from him. John is much better loved than I think he knows -- which is sort of the happy side of some of this sad stuff, in a way!

[skywardprodigal.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, this was brilliant.

For all the things unsaid and known... Wow.

[hth-the-first.livejournal.com]

Thank you! This has been kind of a fun John POV to write -- because you can't just come out and *say* anything. It's a matter of putting just enough out there to let the readers piece it all together and know what's going on, which is different from my usual sort of high-opera confessional style. *g* I'm enjoying it; glad it worked for you.

[skywardprodigal.livejournal.com]

It so did. And it looks like you're having fun writing it.

What I like about how John was written in Outcast is that it's so clear (to me) that he's the gay relative (who may or may not really be gay) or, he was raised by someone who was so into who he thought John needed to be that John NEVER grew up knowing what it was like to be loved or taken care of because, well, he was a kid and a son.

Like...yeah. And omg Ronon. Perfect, beautiful, wants to shake some of the damage out of John but can't. Ronon. <3

LOVE!

:)

And poor John, terrified of who he is/might be. Just...that weird panic that comes out like he's robotic about to run. :)

Thank you.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Where have you been all of my SGA fanfic life? Seriously this is...wow. Your John and Rodney are unparalled, and your Ronon, dead on. I can't believe I hadn't stumbled on your work sooner, but damn I'm glad I finally found it. And now I'm off to read your Polyamory stuff...

[hth-the-first.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Hope you run into some other things you like as well, now that you've discovered my stash. *g*

[rosawestphalen.livejournal.com]

Just when I think I'm out of SGA fandom your brilliant stories, fantastic characterization and love of all things Ronan pull me back in! I love the voices here. Thank you!

[hth-the-first.livejournal.com]

Awww, thank you! I know that various things about the show and fandom can sometimes make people decide fuck it all and move on to less stressful pastures. But dammit, it's my show. *g* And I'm always pleased when people decide to stick around just a little while longer....

[margec01.livejournal.com]

These are great, and I'd love to see the series continue. I prefer to read about a long, slow buildup to....whomever. (g) And to see Sheppard so painfully trying to make contact with both Rodney and Ronon. It's so hard for him to SAY anything. In real life, I'd probably be impatient and just walk away, but in fiction--it's wonderful!

[hth-the-first.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I think that's one of the things that fiction is really good for -- it lets you get close to difficult people in a safe way, if that makes any sense. In real life, it can be really awful and messy and painful to be intimate enough with people like John, so it's sort of understandable that we don't usually do it. But in a story, it's easier to discover empathy for people, without getting sucked in by their problems. Fiction =/= real life, in sometimes wonderful ways! *g*

[margec01.livejournal.com]

That is an excellent point. In fiction, the author can show us what the character is really trying to say. In your stories, we see what John's thinking, and feel empathy when the words just don't come out. In real life, you have to really love someone, or be really "in tune" with them to try to "translate" the awkward words.

I think that's also why I love a lot of SGA fanfic--we see John and Rodney, or John and Ronon, managing to communicate without words a lot of the time--the words that come so hard for all of them. It gives a sense of intimacy that usually can't be shown or experienced in real life.

[cathalin.livejournal.com]

Hey, just stumbled across this on the sgaepisode comm. This is really great. I love the Ronon/John interaction, and it giving John the space and time to realize that he can make his own choices, discover who he is/what he wants. The characterizations seem really accurate to me. Really, really cool. I'm going to enjoy investigating your other fic!

[hth-the-first.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I definitely think this is a version of John where time and space are going to be key: you can't bully someone into giving up the protective habits of a lifetime. It's a process. If you do decide to invest time in some of my other stories, I hope you find stuff there that you find worthwhile, too!

[cathalin.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow, this is a killer piece, with a particularly killer last line.

I loved how Rodney pushed on the issue of John not telling him real stuff about himself. I *loved* how you had John suddenly feel a surge of anger -- that seemed so, so right to me for his character -- perhaps not understanding, even as he's feeling it, all the reasons. I'm fascinated with John as a character and trying to work through what possibilities there are for his motivations/actions/feelings/thoughts, etc., and this is very cool, seeing the way you're seeing him here.

I also love how John ultimately *does* reach out to Rodney and share more about himself -- because yeah, that's how much that friendship means to him, for sure. And maybe he's trying to be more communicative?

Thanks for these. Hope it's fine I friended you - I don't want to miss these.

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

Gorgeous. Thank you for this.

[raiining.livejournal.com]

That was -awesome-. That was possibly the best fic to that ep I've read so far.

sga_episodefics is my new favourite site and this just made my night. Thank you!

[raiining.livejournal.com]

Oh beautiful add-on! Will there be a third one? Because it kinds of feels like we need to go back to Rodney now, unless you're going to detour around Teyla and then I would LOVE YOU WITH THE TEAM LOVE but mostly I want a happy ending here. *smiles*

Because John deserves one, doesn't he? Only your making him work for that and I love it because it feels that much more real.

[jssangel.livejournal.com]

I really like your writing.

this was great.

[jssangel.livejournal.com]

aw man. poor John.

[jssangel.livejournal.com]

err. I just noticed that my comments for those two stories showed up in the same thread without anything to distinguish them.

anyway. both were great. I like your writing. I am sad for John.