60 Teen Wolfs in 60 Days: day 15, Ice Pick

[hth]

Okay, Allison, I realize this would be scary, but if you take a step back – it's pretty cool, too, right? Maybe not so much this first time. But from now on, it's like you'll be playing this badass parkour/scavenger hunt/archery tournament with your parents all the time. Every other girl your age is home whining about how there's nothing to dooooo in this town, and look at you.

 

That Jigsaw voiceover – that really sounds like Derek, doesn't it? But I mean, it wouldn't really make sense. It's not like Chris can ask if Derek will just read this into his phone for a sec. Good job with the werewolfifier auto-tune, though?

 

Sorry, no. Nope. I call retcon shenanigans. There is no way the first season dynamic between Chris and Kate makes sense if they were raised to view Chris as the natural soldier and Kate as the heir apparent. Also, BWAHAHA that Gerard ever took orders from fucking anyone. Nooooope. Lies and false facts! And unnecessary. Why couldn't he just say that Allison has natural leadership potential and he plans to train her as third-in-line to follow her grandfather's position as Lord High Hunter or whatever?

 

Is Beacon Hills some kind of tech sector town or something? How does this place in the woods have the tax base for everyone to live in giant houses and the high school to have this fucking awesome climbing wall?

 

Finstock, your evil gives me a special kind of joy, too. Right here.

 

When did Scott get spidey-senses for any danger to anyone? She's not even a werewolf yet! I'm trying to be cool about the constant power drift in this show, but man is it killing my inner gamer.

 

At this point I'd really like to know if Derek knows he's being utterly terrifying to children? Like, is he rocking this Bogeyman act on purpose to impress on them how alpha he is, or is he trying to be somehow a caregiver figure, like an extremely terrifying Camp Counselor of the Damned? (OH MY GOD, has someone written the sleepaway camp AU? PLEASE SAY YES.)

 

Lydia, oh my god, please. Please, I'm begging you to stop crying over this unbelievable jagoff. I realize you're a 16-year-old girl and you get very intensely invested in the least worthy shit possible, but this show is supposed to be entertaining for me, and you are consistently bumming me the hell out with this.

 

Now I have this fear that Stiles is a shitty tipper. But I'm sure it works out, because he's always with Scott, who is digging handfuls of change out of his pockets to pile on the table at the pizza place and writing little apology notes on the napkin for the waitress.

 

So, Erica. Erica. Erica, Erica, Erica. I neither believe this overnight transformation nor particularly want to. We see a number of dudes turn into werewolves, and all of them remain exactly the people they were before, complete with the same tics and social anxieties and phobias. They have to go on bigass character arcs to become full-fledged – whatever. Scott didn't turn into an instant pushy douchebag. Isaac doesn't. Boyd...doesn't? Who knows, we never quite figure out what's up with Boyd. But he seems decent enough! And yet Erica, given like 12 hours to adjust to life beyond her chronic, lifelong health problems, has time to go shopping, get her hair and makeup together, and reinvent herself totally as Elvira, Mistress of the Pack. Nooooope. Do not believe it's doable. Find it highly unsavory that a whole room full of professional writers thought it would be a swell idea to start with. ONE – we get ONE female werewolf who's bitten instead of born, and she's played as utterly unable to modulate her aggression or her sexuality, not on the full moon like everyone else, but completely and for the rest of her life. (Oh, I'm sorry. I guess we also get Kate, don't we? Well, at least her inability to moderate her aggression or her sexuality was a pre-existing condition in that case.)

 

Everything about Erica is Some Bullshit.

 

I love, given what we later learn about Dr. Deaton, that he's busting out the natural philosophy here. Pitch perfect Druid. Someone's been reading their Julius Caesar.

 

The Mets, huh? Well, at least he's not a Yankee fan. I had to watch Duke win the NCAA tournament this week; I have suffered enough!

 

Everything about Erica is Some Bullshit. You know all that stuff I said I was so happy that Kate wasn't? Well, Erica is.

 

That's an interesting backstory on Victoria that never goes anywhere. Do you think the Argents used that boys' school to recruit their nameless henchhunters? (AU, PLEASE.)

 

I'm glad that Scott looks flattered by Allison not being jealous. I have a very low tolerance level for “she's jealous! That means she really truly cares!” By which I mean none. I have none tolerance for it. It makes me very happy that Scott's smile is totally “she trusts the purity of my love! She really gets me, man!”

 

Do you ever have a ship, and then your show does a thing with your ship, and it's kind of like getting a bellyrub of pure joy from your show? And you feel like you've rolled over and your leg is doing that thumpy thing in the air, except in your soul? Do you know that feeling I'm talking about? I don't think I'd be happier if Scott and Stiles actually did make out. I'd try to be happier. But I'm not sure I'm emotionally equipped to be any happier than I am right now. I'm a pretty negative person, honestly, and already I feel like this is putting me under some slightly worrisome cardiac strain. Guys, is this – is this what being satisfied with something on tv feels like? How do people go back to normal life afterwards!?

 

But then they follow it up with a one-two scene, Jackson and then Erica. Remember that scene in Princess Bride where they sober Inigo up with the cold water and the hot water dunks? It's bracing.

 

Aw, Scott, don't disrespect the pack! Your betas aren't your guard dogs; you'll understand when you have betas of your own someday.

 

You know, that's an intriguingly mature response from Boyd. He's understandably a little put off by the savage violence, but he realizes that with the kind of power he's being offered, he gets a choice of what kind of person to let it make him, and he chooses to admire the guy who lost a fight but was trying to protect people, rather than the guy who won by only taking on his opponent after he'd fought two other people first. It makes me think that I would've come to like Boyd if they'd kept, you know. Writing him as a dude with opinions and lines and things of that nature.

 

 

Comments

[green_grrl]

♥ ♥ ♥

I just binge-read all 16 posts so far, and am subscribing to read along! This will keep me entertained until s5 starts, and I'm very curious to see where your opinions go as the show progresses. Thank you for thinky and fun meta!

[hth]

Hey, welcome, new friend! I feel like I can at least assure you that I won't run out of opinions *g*