hth | "Harmony" + preemptive squeeing

I feel like I should say something belatedly about "Harmony," even though I have relatively little to say. Because what every discussion needs is MORE ME!

First, however, the *really important stuff.*

OMG I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT TOMORROW NIGHT!!!! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS EPISODE SINCE BEFORE THE SEASON STARTED! I DON'T KNOW WHICH I'M MORE PSYCHED ABOUT, SPOILERY THING 1 OR SPOILERY THING 2 -- OH, WHO AM I KIDDING, TOTALLY SPOILERY THING 2! NO, WAIT, 1!!! BOTH! EEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, Mary's gonna strangle me if I don't stop running up to her randomly and saying, "YOU KNOW WHAT I'M EXCITED ABOUT?" She knows. She knows because I've been telling her all week long. And now you know, too.

IT'S TOMORROW, EEEEEEEEE!

EEEE!

General, from-the-air diagnosis: This episode reminded me a lot of "The Tower," except kind of if "The Tower" had been written by people with thumbs and basic cognitive skills -- i.e., it's the "Tower" that doesn't suck ass. It's hijinks on a faux medieval RenFest world with cheesecake in corsets whose names you (admit it) have already forgotten, and it's a total filler episode that affects nothing and no one and who really gives a damn, but it's pretty funny anyway and I'll buy it for a dollar. Why not.

Oh, don't get me wrong, it has its hatable elements. I want to fucking punch someone in the crotch every time they do that same fucking plotline where the Simple and Kindly Folk have some kind of wackily fanatical religious belief that our heroes prove is nothing more than their Simple and Kindly total misunderstanding of what Ancient technology is and where it comes from. They think it's the "blessings" of their "goddess" that makes the necklace glow! Are they not just PRECIOUS? I mean, not in the way where John and Rodney and everyone from Atlantis and also Vancouver and certainly the writers' room aren't totally smarter than them and ergo superior in every way that could possibly matter...but precious nonetheless! (In my head, I hear Wash saying, "Quaint!")

Look, I'm not saying it's not a plausible plotline. It is pretty reasonable that, if a pre-modern society were in possession of some mysterious device from beyond the stars, they'd think of it as a blessed and/or magical relic. And I'm not even really disagreeing with the concept that if an inanimate object suddenly displays new and unexpected properties, there's probably a physics-based reason that it does so; also true. I just loathe the way that religion *only* ever shows up in the Stargate universe when it's a silly mistake that backwards people make because they don't know any better. Because why would the advanced people of Earth ever have any religion or even consider the major issues of life in any way? Just because they're in the middle of a life-threatening war on two fronts and have relatively recently had all their assumptions about human history suddenly debunked by the realization that Earth was once an alien colony? Like that kind of thing ever leads to people showing up on the chaplain's doorstep. Oh, wait. We don't have a chaplain on this base. If we did, he'd probably turn out to be a hologram. (Just wait til Air Force brass finds out the Atlantis mission won't be raptured.)

Anyway, that's a pet peeve of mine, and they were jumping all over it with both feet in this episode. But other than that it was okay -- I liked Harmony herself. Who's writing the story where she turns up in a few years, eighteen and even more willful and gorgeous with the hots for Rodney, who is completely freaked out, ostensibly because he remembers her when she was just a little kid, but mostly because he instinctively knows that if he lets Harmony have her way with him, he will never, ever win a single relationship argument for the rest of his natural life. And that is definitely one of the circles of hell for Rodney: a life spent losing arguments, even when he's so totally in the right! But also, she's eighteen and hot and dead set on getting her way and she's worshipped him for years, and he has no ability to say no to that! Nothing in Rodney's life has prepared him to say *no* to that. Seriously -- who's writing that story?!?

I like to keep a couple of McShep shippers on my friendslist so I can check in with them after episodes to find out what I apparently completely missed, and this week's episode was apparently brought to you by the plot device "triangulation" -- which makes me think I don't even know what that means, because I thought triangulation is where you have a character who sublimates his desire for another character by awkwardly forcing and/or submitting to a romance with a third character who resembles a safer version of the character he really wants. And I gather that was supposed to be John in this episode? Which would've been more clear to me, I think, if John had evinced even the tiniest bit of interest in *either* of his traveling companions, and not entirely in getting out of this shitty mission he never wanted to be on and going home in one piece. Actually, I thought it was pretty awesome that John did have the same vaguely exhausted, vaguely fed up sort of affection for Harmony that he does for Rodney -- but I don't know that I thought he was sublimating anything, or attaching any feelings to Harmony that he isn't perfectly open about already attaching to Rodney: to wit, vaguely exhausted, vaguely fed up affection.

Rodney, on the other hand, is a whole separate story.

I don't know if the writers do this on purpose, or if it's just so deeply encoded in their geek DNA that they can't help themselves, but either way, I never cease to be amused by it. Rodney has projected onto John Sheppard all of his assumptions about what he thinks coolness and masculinity are all about. This is, mind you, totally in spite of the fact that John isn't especially cool or all that manly. But he does have a hairstyle of some kind and kind of a slouchy, smoking-in-the-boys-room way of standing there and he does use physical violence to save Rodney's life on a regular basis, so the whole bundle of things that Rodney has always believed go along with being attractive and cool and badass and well-liked, he now associates with John Sheppard. Who is...some of those things, some of the time.

And when I say "projection," please be assured, I'm talking about in the textbook sense, the psychological sense, where you operate as if the Other is not an individual in their own right, but a blank screen playing out a range of attributes you either covet or fear in yourself and usually both. In Rodney's case, it sometimes manifests as contempt ("every problem has a *military* solution in your world, doesn't it?"), but much more often manifests in this really peculiar envy he has, where he talks about John's life as if it's just one big nonstop whirl of adulation, adventure, and free ass. Even though what John does on his day off is badger the one friend who feels sorry enough for him to go along with it to drive golf balls off the pier and crush beer cans on his forehead. Clearly *nothing* fun ever happens in John's world, and yet no amount of actual data will ever convince Rodney of this.

I suppose it could be that we're supposed to take Rodney at his word when he tells Harmony about all the women who fall for John -- I mean, maybe it all happens off-screen? But honestly, when was the last time in canon that anyone did *anything* because John asked her to? Who *are* all these alien babes that Rodney says are always swooning at John's feet? The last two women he had jack shit to do with who weren't part of the main cast were Laren (who was obviously using him and then totally gave him the, "no, really, I'll call you") and, oh yeah, the chick from the Tower (who was just as obviously, and pretty much without pretense, using him for his DNA -- although she did have that friend who seemed to dig him for his own sake, the one who grabbed his ass, not that Rodney was there for that). John's preternatural sway over all the women who "fall for his good looks and charm" or what the fuck ever -- when does that happen? I think you can make a case that *two* women have fallen for John, one in first season and one in second. The rest appear to have either hit the cutting room floor, or more likely, exist solely in Rodney's imagination.

But Rodney has that *thing* that geek guys have, that vague suspicion of the All-American Jock combined with a deep-seated, intractible belief that those guys lead utterly charmed lives and that *they, too* would lead utterly charmed lives if they just had all the qualities that genetics unfairly doled out to other people instead. And the All-American Jock, in his mind, is played by the closest honest to God hero Rodney has at hand. In the great drama that Rodney is sure his life is, he *knows* John would be cast in the Keanu Reeves role, and that Rodney himself would totally unfairly receive third billing. This drives him insane. It also really, really makes him want to *be* John Sheppard, in ways that he would never in a million years admit.

And the thing about projection is that it's not hard at *all* for it to lead to attraction, and even obsession -- because if you've assigned someone else all the qualities you don't think you can have, well, the next best thing to having all those qualities is having that person. Rodney wants to be John Sheppard. Rodney wants John Sheppard's approval. If you believe that Rodney has an *iota* of bisexuality to him, you know there has to be a part of him that wants John to want him. The closer John will let himself be pulled in, the less distance there is between Rodney and all this stuff that Rodney hates not having for himself -- the coolness, the ability to win people over, the casual bravery, the sangfroid, the non-receding hairline and the combat skills (all geeks secretly want to be combat monsters).

The problem is that he's never really going to get it, because John Sheppard is unwinnable in that way. You can't *get* him, you can't *have* him, because John is not the kind of person who can let himself be had. He's a good person and a loyal person, but he's not really a person who's into merging in that way with anybody else -- and even if he were, it doesn't actually work like that. John doesn't even *have* all of those qualities, and whether he did or not, he's not able to magically bestow them on Rodney. Projection isn't an actual therapeutic strategy, it's an illusion. You have to actually *have* that stuff; it doesn't come to you by association, bequeathed to you through your closeness with somebody else. There's a psychologist named James Hollis who theorizes five stages of projection: 1) you completely believe that your projections are absolutely and objectively true of the Other, 2) you realize there is this vast gap between who you *wanted* the Other to be and who he actually is, which you attempt to fix by changing the person, trying to stuff him back into the box that you invented and were comfortable with, 3) you actually *look* at the Other and see him for the first time as his own whole person, the person he actually is, not as the person you wish he were, 4) you stop doing it, because it's ungood for you and your relationship, 5) you finally figure out what it is you were projecting onto that person and why you felt so sure you needed to do that, what it really is about *yourself* that you were unconsciously trying to work out.

(Now that I stop and think about it, I think projection explains...rather a lot about fandom, actually. Huh.)

Anyway! The point is that part of the process is *not,* "then he sleeps with you and falls in love with you and you totally complete each other." It's not even, "then he invites you over to play video games and watch his secret Dr. Who stash and totally tells you you can be BFFs now" (which is what I think Rodney wants in canon). That's not...you know, how it actually works. We just wish it were, because it's a hell of a lot easier to get someone to like us than it is to work on our own issues. So even if Rodney *could* convince John to fall wildly in love with him, he'd just end up pitching headfirst into stage 2, where he doesn't like himself any better than before and he's frustrated and let down because John isn't made of magic like Rodney has hyped himself into believing. Thank God he's already on board with the whole "therapy" thing, is all I'm saying.

Er...that's what I got out of "Harmony." I mean, it was my theory previous to "Harmony" as well, but this pretty much sealed the deal. I pretty much read the whole episode as a big song and dance number about Rodney's whole messy, unconscious knot of resentment/envy/fascination surrounding John, with a big starchy side-dish of John's utter obliviousness. The nice thing about this read on the episode, is that it actually gives the episode something of a purpose. You can read Harmony as this kind of emanation of Rodney's own personality, trying to figure out how to be a leader, how to be heroic -- beginning with that kind of knee-jerk assumption that the heroic leader looks like John (her conviction that he's wise and gentle and noble is no less misguided than Rodney's conviction that he's cool: they're both projecting all *over* the place), but over the course of the episode deciding that she doesn't NOT like who Rodney actually is, and ending by withdrawing her false assumptions about John and declaring herself for Rodney, whom she sees as the actual hero of the piece. It's kind of like a little hint that such a thing is possible -- if someone *like* Rodney can decide that he's an authentic hero in and of himself with no pieces missing, then theoretically *Rodney himself* can decide that he's capable of authentic heroism and doesn't need to win anything that's in anyone else's possession.

I mean, it's not going to happen, because Rodney wouldn't be half so entertaining if he had all his shit worked out. Like all tv characters, he will continue to suffer for our amusement. We serve a strange mistress, here in fandom.

Christ almighty, I typed for two hours about fucking "Harmony". There is pretty much NO TELLING how much blood I'm going to squeeze out of the stone that is "Outcast." I could be here for weeks, y'all.

ALSO, DID I MENTION IT'S TOMORROW? EEEEEEEEE!